I messed up

Trust me I probably feel 3x as nauseous as you right now! Okay so maybe I panicked and did whatever seemed right to this romantic failure of a girl and ruined it. Now that you're moving on I can't imagine you spending all your time and doing what we'd always do with somebody else. I know that sounds selfish and extremely controlling and I'm defiantly not trying to do or be that but I don't know any other way I can say this. If you had time to think this over maybe your response will be a little different but I don't know. See that's the thing my brain is clogged and clouded, all I can think about is "I tried moving on and I just compared him to you" maybe that's a weird sign for something or maybe it's not. I know it was single handedly my corruption that ruined this. But remember when that guy liked me and you tried to convince me that you loved me more than he did. Well we had more history than him so I took your side and really don't regret it. I'm not saying to choose or anything I just want you to know that I have no clue what I'm doing or saying and it's really hard to carry a conversation like this so yeah. Just think about it and if you're ready to move on and want me gone then say it. It may hurt for a second but I will and you'll never have to deal with me again😂
Btw- this all started while listening to "all of me" thanks for that🙆