Dave lives alone in his apartment. His life is so dreary and plain. But all this changes when he is noticed by his internet crush!
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don't cancel me this is satire
I woke up in the mid-afternoon and stretched. My old man bones shuddered beneath my thin, frail skin--my shiny hairless head glistened in the incandescent morning sun. Then all of a sudden, A notification appeared on my phone on my phone that caught my attention and brought a slight smirk to my chapped lips.
"Tommyinnit is Live!", Read a notification on my shattered, greasy, and oddly warm Samsung Galaxy S7 edge. I scrambled to open my phone, trembling as I swiped my thumb over the fingerprint scanner without hesitation. Once my phone recognised that I was its humble owner, it granted me access to the marvelous world of Tommyinnit's Live Stream.
I connected my pink, bluetooth, cat-ear headphones that my Discord mod ex boyfriend got me and prepared myself. My heart fluttered when I finally saw my cute little blonde British boy exclaiming with his friends on stream. I've never been much of a video games type guy-- so yeah I guess I'm just a little different. My whiskers shriveled when Tommy made eye contact with the camera.
"Guess what chat?! I'm holding a competition!!" Tommy announced into his mic. "Whoever can tweet the best pick-up line to me gets to play Minecraft on the DreamSMP server on stream with me!!" I opened twitter without a second thought and typed out my well thought out one-way ticket to Tommy town.
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^^ (The tweet)
I opened my Twitch app and saw Tommy looking at his phone, red in the face. 'Did he see my Tweet?!' I said to myself. "Dave.... Do you mean this?" My heart leaped into my throat. Tommy saw my tweet!! "I-I-I think we have a w-winner." Tommy cleared his throat.I squealed and a teeny bit of spit made it off my tongue.
