Ed Sheeran x reader

Im in love with the shape of you

You were walking down the street, just a normal Saturday. You were on your way to your favorite coffee shop, Gingers Coffee. You went there and only there because you were really into gingers. You hooked up with one as much as you could. You arrived at the coffee shop and sat down. "Just the regular please" you immediately said. The barista fiddled around in the back for a bit before pulling out a great big cup of sweet tea. Gingers loved sweet tea. What you did not expect was a new employee. You thought you knew them all, but this one was different. Typically the employees weren't gingers themselves, but he was. You immediately felt yourself attracted to him. He has short shaggy ginger hair and funky eyes. But that didn't bother you. "Excuse me sir?" You called out to him. He walked up to you, "what's up?" You pushed your cup over to him. "I think I need a little extra CREAM in my tea..." you winked at him. He caught on to what you were implying and winked back. He walked over to the back for a bit before soon returning. "Hello? Ma'am? I think I'm going to need to see you in the back, I need help with that cream" he moaned. Your nipples got as pointy as needles. He led you far into the back and you immediately started making out. You could feel his hard monster cock against your leg. You were trying to guess how many inches he was in your head. 10? 12? 14? It was too HARD to tell. You began to touch on his bulge, unzipping his pants. You shiver with anticipation. You pulled down his underwear to reveal his cock, which was even bigger than you expected. But you noticed something... his pubes weren't ginger. You gasped. "What is it?" He asked in confusion. "YOU AREN'T A NATURAL GINGER?!?!" You screamed. He began to turn red. "W-well.." "SHUT UP" you cut him off. You couldn't believe this! You kissed a non ginger! You felt like vomiting. This was by far the worst thing that's ever happened to you. You pulled a knife out of your pocket and chopped off his dick. "OW WHAT THE FUCK" he yelled out of pain. "THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR TRICKING ME! YOU DONT KNOW HOW BETRAYED I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!!" You ran out of the shop in tears as he bled to death, still clutching his severed dick. Your world felt like it was crumbling in on itself. As you were running you bumped into a man. "Hey! Watch where you're going bitc-" you dropped the dick and stood there in amazement. "Did someone say world?" The large bald man snickers.

To be continued...