He had taken his last breaths in Taehyung's arms. His heart and brain couldn't take the damage from the hit, and were pronounced dead at 10:30 at night. Taehyung was devastated. Jin's parents, brother and Taehyung's parents were full of shock and despair. How could it be so quickly and so hurtful?
"Taehyung we have to go..they need to do his last bath.." Taehyung shook his head no, he held onto Jin's body tightly. It had been an hour since he last spoke with him. Jin's parents saw how much Taehyung held onto Jin, and knowing how much he loved him, they sighed.
"Taehyung..let him go.." Jin's mother placed her hand on his shoulder, caressing it as a few tears had left her eye. Taehyung still shook his head no, he didn't want to let go, he wasn't planning to let go.
"Tae-"
"Stop! Leave me alone!" He yelled out, as his voice scared the others. They all went silent. Not even Seok-joong said anything, he couldn't say anything. Not from Tae's yell, but from the shock of how Jin's lifeless body was being held by Taehyung. They all sighed, leaving Taehyung yet again, alone.
As he heard the door close, his whaling cries couldn't help but he heard everywhere. Everything felt, empty. He was exhausted from crying, yet all he could do, was let his eyes cry, cry, and cry. He hugged Jin's body tightly, feeling the coldness come quickly. He didn't like it.
"Hyung..why now?..Weren't you supposed to stay with me?..You said forever, yet you left..you left!! You left.." Taehyung softly cried, putting his head on Jin's shoulder, feeling nothing but pain.
All the things he remembered with him, his body touching his lifeless one, everything brought him pain. He hadn't cried so much for someone, was it possible to cry so much? Was it possible to feel so much pain? Was it possible that he couldn't get everything? Was it possible that all he had was now dead.
He stared at him. His face still beautiful, but now, his face was too pale, too dead. Taehyung placed his fingers on Jin's hair. He played with it as he would when Jin slept on his lap. He smiled remembering those times. But.
"Sir..you need to leave now, we need to pick him up and take him away.." a nurse said, who had opened the door quietly as she saw how Taehyung still held onto him. She didn't want to disturb him, he looked peaceful holding Jin in his arms, but she had to do her job.
"..10 more minutes?" The nurse sighed. She couldn't help but accept it. She gave him his 10 minutes, knowing he definitely need it.
As she left, the door closing yet again, Taehyung went back into holding Jin's in his arms. His body was getting colder, Tae didn't like it at all. He tried his best to put a blanket around him, but seeing his closed eyes, a tear couldn't help but fall down his cheeks.
"This is reality..huh?.." he said, placing Jin back to where he was laying on the bed. Taehyung choked a bit, feeling more tears come. He wasn't able to hold it in. His heart still ache, even after the hour pass, he wasn't able to understand, why now?
"You never deserved this hyung..you were still so young..why now?..Why from all times now?..I don't understand hyung! Can't you just wake up? Wake up and tell me everything was just a game! Why do you have to hurt my heart so much?! Why?!.." he bursted out in tears, holding Jin's hands as his sobs were heard from outside.
His parents, Jin's parents and Seok-joong all heard him, feeling the same way he was feeling, pain. Yet they could only stand outside, their silent cries not being heard from anyone. As Taehyung's cries started to get quieter and quieter, the nurse came in, Taehyung coming out as his eyes seemed dreadful and puffy.
"Mom.." Taehyung softly said, resting his chin as he looked away from the door. He heard the door open and close a few times, knowing they had picked his body up and disinfected the room, he just didn't wanted to see them take Jin away. He wasn't ready.
"Are they gone?.." he quietly said, feeling a hand on his shoulder as he looked up to see Seok-joong staring at him. He could feel more tears coming as he stared at his dad eyes. Letting go of his mother, he held out his arms as he was brought into a hug by him, more tears falling down his cheek.
"He's not in pain no more..he's better now..think that way.." but he couldn't. He didn't want to think that way. He didn't want Jin to suffer, of course not, but he didn't want to lose him either.
"It's okay..cry..cry Taehyung.. no one will hear you.." Seok-joong said, as himself cried silently, hearing Tae's muffled cries, feeling the wetness get to his shirt. They stood there, outside of what used to be Jin's room, in despair.
...
Nothing was the same. From the time at the hospital, Taehyung wasn't himself. It was the day of Jin's funeral, he stared at himself in the mirror as he wore a black suit, black shirt, black everything, except for the white tulips that he held in his hands.
"Remember how you told me you loved tulips?..I got you some.." Taehyung smiled to himself, wanting to cry but knowing it wasn't time for that yet. As he sighed, a knock was heard at his door. The door being opened, he stared at his mother, who wore a black dress, waiting for him so they could leave.
Sighing one last time, he took off with her, holding onto her hand as they went for the car. Entering, he was faced with Jin's parents and Seok-joong, who tenderly smiled at him. He was strong. For now.
Upon arriving to the church, he felt his air get cut off. He wasn't prepared at all. He held onto the tulips hard, his knuckles getting white, but stopping as soon as the door opened. Getting out of the car, he saw the many people who knew Jin, who knew Taehyung, who knew the both of them. He didn't dare look at them, he just couldn't bring himself to.
Walking inside, it felt like a heavy stone was placed on his heart. He didn't have no thoughts, no words, no emotions to show, nothing at all. Being seated at the front, staring at Jin's photo, the smile that was placed on it, the smile that always brought him joy, brought him in tears at that moment. He felt the tears run,yet again, down his cheeks, wiping them as he heard the priest.
"Wel.." Taehyung blocked everything out, he wasn't able to hear whatever the priest was saying. He just stared at the photo, and the casket that was beside it. He felt, lost, nothing seemed the same, nothing felt the same.
"Taehyung?" Jin's mother's voice interrupted his empty thoughts, making him turn to stare at her. As he saw he had to speak, he felt nervous, covering the fact that he didn't want to, but he wanted to at the same time. Walking up to replace the priest, he glanced at Jin, who's body laid in the casket, gulping as he stared at the people in the room. With a clear of a throat, he spoke.
"Frankly..I never wanted to be here.." he started. He took a minute to continue, feeling the stares shoot at him, at his soul, into his body, everywhere.
"I always wanted to believe this was a whole nightmare..that nothing of this had ever happen. But..we can't have everything we wish for..no?" Everyone agreed.
"When I woke up this morning, it was a struggle..to know that the person you wish to be with, is not here no more. I remember the day..hyung would tell me how he loved waking and falling asleep next to me. I loved it too, ha, I think I loved it more than he did..He was the first man I loved, and will be the last..I never can think of loving another..why? Because he had everything I needed. His smile, a precious thing I hold in my heart, his eyes, something I would love to stare at all day, his laugh, very unique, and most of all, his heart..a precious heart that..stopped working. He taught me many things..from learning to how to cook, to appreciate the things I have in my life. Before, I thought everything was in my hands..now? I don't. He gave me comfort that no other could. When I was stressed, he knew the words to calm me down. When I felt lonely, he knew the affection I needed. But we never know our future, huh?.." Taehyung's eyes, cried with silence. He gulped as he stared down before speaking and looking up.
"He had promise me the day before the accident..how he would stay by my side..I don't like blaming him, he never did anything wrong..I blame no one, for his words..but I wish, he had kept his promise"
