The truth about Jesus

Get drunk with Jesus

Chapter 2 - Get drunk with jesus:

***Time-Skip***

Jesus POV:

-- I sat on a big stone, warmed by the sun. The wind was messing up my brown, long hair which made me even more sad. Right after Mary revealed the truth about my real father I ran to the door but stopped right before I went outside. I looked at my da... I mean Joseph one last time to read his face. His eyes said everything, it was true. He didn't look so sad though. But honestly he probably didn't even knew what was going on yet since he has a pretty slow brain. So I slammed the door after me and now I'm here.

The small trees around me gave me some shadow from the gazing sun. Some leaves fell down into my hair and messed it up even more. "Is it all my fault?" I thought when I sat there all alone. I sighed highly to myself, of course not! I'm too fabulous. As I sat there in the beautiful surroundings I got inspired so I started philosophizing about my dad. What does he look like? Is he nice? God... What a weird name, what is he? I mean a god I guess? Do they even exist? I've never really believed in that shit anyways. Everything I know about that stuff is that I'm a Caprisun. The best sign of course. *braggy har-flip*.

I slowly zoomed out from reality, getting lost in my thoughts. Minute after minute passed and my fantasies got deeper and deeper. I found myself daydreaming about God riding on unicorns over fluffy pink clouds :) I'm not sure how I got there. But suddenly an acorn fell down on my head and brought me back to reality... I can't just sit here! I thought. I'm wasting my precious time. Then I remembered what I always do when I'm sad, get drunk with my friends! I gave myself a little pat on the shoulder for this amazing idea before I headed off to the city.

Next thing I knew I was at the local bar with all my friends. I don't have that many friends honestly. Well, I do have 12 but that doesn't really counts. The truth is that when I was 8 I was a lonely child because no one liked me. I got bullied everyday and it was #sadlife for me. Sooo, I gathered every dumb kid that also got bullied and convinsed the to stay with me forever. I even gave them a group-name, Jesus Disciples, because everyone knows that I'm the leader of this trashy gang.

*Back to the story*

So now we're in this big club where all the cool kids go. The walls are big and even my da... Joseph, Could fit here without hitting his head on the wooden poles. Maybe that's why his so dumb? I'm getting distracted, continue with the story for God's sake! Or should I say for Daddy's sake *cries*.

"Hey Judas and Peter!",

I shouted to them from the other side of the room.

"Jesus you're here",

Judas said with a sparkle in his eyes. He smiled at me as he winked sexy with his eyes. I got flattered and blushed so f**king hard. Oh no Jesus chill down! I thought to myself. He can't see you like this.

"Where are the others",

I asked in a low sexy voice.

"They're not coming",

Peter answered .

What?? I feel so offended! Well well... Their lost.

The drunk ass bartender gave us drink after drink. I swallowed a full glass of vodka while my "friends" shouted *shot, shot, shot!* in the background. I put down the empty glass and shaked my head to numb the pain from the strong alcohol. I'm actually a softie when it comes to this stuff. I do hate to drink but it's the only way to drown my feelings :) so I'm doing it anyway.

I got applause after applause when I emptied another glass. After 10 glasses of pure russian water I began to feel sick. The nausea hit me hard and I lost control of my body.

"I.. I'm just getting some air",

I said as I stumbled towards the door. The small wooden chairs fell as I walked into them and I could swear that the room was spinning around me. The surrounding went blurry and next thing I knew I layed on a small rock about 100 meters from the pubb.

I was still conscious but could barely see the environment around me. Ugh I'm going to puke. Maybe I'll just lay here until someone finds me. I'm not getting up at least, I tought. The sun shone even brighter than before and I put up my hand over my eyes to protect me from the harsh light. But then... I saw a big, angel-like figure rise above me. It came closer and closer. The shape of a long dress and a beard was getting clearer as it walked towards me. A golden shimmer outlined this majestic figure and the eyes were aqua blue with a hint of green. It was a man. His mighty appearance drew my attention. He looked like he came from the sky above us. Was this... God? I tried to stand up to get a better look but suddenly I lost grip of my body and fell to the ground again. Last thing I remember was a shocked face looking at me, then everything went black. --