These Lovely Scars (Lord of the Rings Fanfic)

Time to Move On

I don't understand. "I am the Lady of Darkness," I test out. Galadriel nods somberly. "But, what does that mean?"

Galadriel holds her hand out to me. "Place your hand against mine," she says, and I oblige. At first, nothing happens. But then a dull warmness begins to hum between us, and a rush of power surges through me. "You are powerful, Adrianne Velika. You have the power to change things."

"W-what do you mean by that?"

She gives me a knowing smile. "You'll find out on your own." Then, she calls one of her guards over. "Please assist our guest back to her companions."

Before the guard escorts me out, I need one last thing answered. The guard nudges me forward a bit, but I dig my heels into the floor. "But why?" I call out. Lady Galadriel turns around to face me again. "Why am I here now? Why has all this happened? I'm so confused."

She sighs. "I do not know why you have come here to Middle Earth now. Perhaps it will forever remain a mystery. But I do know this: you had so many emotions trapped inside of you: rage, sadness, emptiness. Now, in this life, they've given you...power. Power beyond what you can think of. You just have to learn how to use it."

"Can't you teach me?"

"No," she smiles. "You must learn how to conrol it yourself. It must be your own." My heart sinks a bit. I can't possibly 'learn how to use it'. I don't even know what 'it' is. Things escalated so quickly, I feel like I'm still in a daze. As I turn to leave the room, the Lady of Light calls out for me once more. "Adrianne," she says. I stop, but do not turn around. I'm not sure if I can handle any more of what she has to say. "Consider this life a new chance. A new beginning. You can learn from your memories, but you must accept that they are only in your mind. You cannot give them the power to control you. You control them. So begin again, and know that you have control.

• ⧫ • ⧫ •

I have to learn to forget. That's all I can think about as we walk down a million flights of staircases. I need to move on.

But as we walk, I feel my eyes grow hot with tears once more, and I sniffle, trying to withhold them. The guard in front of me visibly tenses. "Um...are you alright, miss?" He asks in a very nervous tone.

"Yes," I say with a shaking voice. I almost feel bad for him; this must be so terribly awkward. For his sake, I force myself to control my emotions.

We walk the rest of the way in complete silence.

At last, we come to an area close to the ground. Strings of lights dot the trees, and I see several blankets and mats laid out on the ground not far away. The fellowship.

"I'll leave you here then, miss." The guard says with a curt nod.

"Okay. Thanks." I say. I almost apologize for making things so awkward and tense, but he's already dashing off. Oh, right. I almost forgot. I'm still known as the girl who fell from the sky to most. Or the girl with the scars. Pick your poison.

As I make my way over to the fellowship, several lumps, which I thought were sleeping, sit up. Perfect. "Adrianne!" I hear Pippin's voice. "Adrianne's back!"

Several more sit up, and soon the whole fellowship is staring at me. It takes me a few moments to realize that they're waiting for me to say something. "Oh," I manage. "Hi." I try to keep my face hidden by pretending to stare at the starlit sky; I don't want them to know that I've been crying. In fact, I'd rather none of them learn about anything that went on at all. About my past.

"How's your back, lassie?" Gimli asks.

"It's good. Really good, actually." I bit down on my lip, wishing for nothing more but a little bit of time to myself. "Thank you all for waiting up for me, it was really kind. But if you'll excuse me now, I think I'll go to sleep."

From the corner of my eye, I see Legolas and Aragorn exchange a look. Oh, how wonderful it is to see their familiar faces again. "Adrianne, are you alright?" Aragorn asks, but I know he really means "What happened?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need some time to think, that's all."

"Think? Think about what? What do you - fine, keep your secrets. Just go to sleep then." Aragorn says. To the others, he might've sounded harsh, but I know what he's really up to. He's saving me in front of them now, because I know he expects me to tell him later privately. I give him a grateful look.

I lay down on the sheets next to Aragorn. Legolas gives me a worried look that asks me "what's wrong?" But I shake my head at him, signaling that everything's fine.

I turn my back so that I'm not facing any of them, and I pretend to fall asleep. One by one, their breathing slows and they all doze off. Only when I am sure that everyone is asleep do I finally let myself cry, let the heavy tears fall. I cry for everything. For the memories, for the family who lost me, for my horrible decisions, for all the hate inside of me. O tell myself that these tears are the last that I will cry for a long, long time. No more crying after this.

It appears that I was wrong. Not everyone was asleep. As I cry softly, I feel Aragorn's larger hand take my smaller one, and he squeezes it reassuringly. "I'm here." He whispers. "We're all here for you, Adrianne."