Love Lost

Prologue

        "What the hell is your problem?" the male said. I walked into the room and slammed the door behind me. I looked into his eyes as tears started to form in mine.

        "You're my damn problem. I didn't ask for this, you bastard." I walked towards the male and slapped him; he held his cheek and a look of shock rose on his face. "You did this to me, and now I'm all fucked up in the head," I stated.  The male began to walk towards me as he grabbed my shoulders and pinned me against the wall. His eyes glimmered as tears rolled down his cheeks.

         "I love you, Michael, but it seems that I've messed up your life." He unpinned his hair as it draped down over his shoulders until it stopped mid -torso. His dark Irish red hair fell over his face and his caramel colored skin and lean muscles; his crystal blue eyes peered through. He was shirtless and only wore a pair of silk shorts. It was rousing, yet disgusting. "Michael. You tell everyone you're not gay. Fine, but stop acting like a goddamn woman. Get your emotions in order and be a man.  " I pushed him away and punched him in the stomach. He fell to his knees and looked up at me

         "How dare you talk to me that way, I am more of a man than you will ever be you fucking fag." He smiled as I walked out the door and slammed it behind me. It hurt to call my 'friend' such a derogatory name. I wanted to apologize, but I'm a man, so I kept walking and I exited the apartment building. Now that I was done with Derek, I would go on to finish things with Sarah and get on with my life. Everything always ended the same way. I would be hurt or I would hurt someone; it seems as though this time I was doing the hurting.

         I hailed a taxi and was ignored. It started to rain and I smiled thinking to myself, "Great, just what I need." I wasn't the greatest person in the world, but no one is perfect.  I started to walk; I couldn't get a cab, so I gave up. The streets of New York have always been cruel.  I felt depressed about Derek and about how would I be able to bring myself to talk to Sarah after being so rude and shitty. I loved Sarah, everything about her actually.

         The rain started to lift after about 30 min. into my walk, and I reached the diner where I was supposed to meet Sarah. I was drenched and cold and I felt like shit. But Sarah made all that go away. She was a different type of gal, not the regular dame you see day-to-day. She had long purple and blue hair it was radical, as she'd say. She was only about 5'6 and her hazel/green eyes were perfect, they went well with her pale pink skin.

         "Hello Sarah, I finally made it."

         She looked back and took a deep breath before she stood and hugged me. She was going to mess up her nice pink shirt and blue jean outfit, but I don't think that mattered to her. She looked up at me and backed away "What's wrong Mikey?" She asked. I couldn't look at her in the eyes.

         "I love you Sarah, but because I love you, I can't be with you. I will only hurt you and I can't continue to do that." She hugged me close and gave me a warming embrace and it was the love I so longed for but I couldn't accept it.  "Let go of me."

         "I can't do that," she said. "I love you too; I didn't expect to fall in love. I don't want to love you, but I do, and I can't help that I do." She made it so much harder that it had to be to leave her. I took a few breaths and stepped away forcefully and looked her in the eyes.

         "I can't be with you; you're too reckless for me. I don't need danger in my life. I can't continue to put up with your fucking problems when I have my own." She began to cry. I didn't want to say those things, and when I did, I could've died a million times over. Sarah slapped me and looked at me with such despair and anger.

         "I didn't ask you to deal with my fucking problems you fucking shithead. I didn't ask for any of this, and I couldn't care less about your fucking problems..." She continued to rant, and I thought to myself that this is exactly what I deserved, and I shouldn't be worth her breath or her time. When I came to, she was staring at me, and I walked away. I exited the diner and walked towards a black car where a man was holding an umbrella with the door open waiting for me.

         "Good evening, Master Wilters."  I entered the car, and the man closed the door. My father sat across from me. The look of disgust and hatred crawled on his face as I looked up at him. He didn't say a single word to me.

         "Hello father." I decided to break the silence.

         "We'll talk when we get home. Don't you dare utter another word out that repulsive mouth of yours." His words cut like a hot sword fresh from the blacksmith. He looked away out the window and remained silent the whole ride home.