(09/25/06)
I had a friend until today, around an hour ago. I lost him today over something stupid. I don't care much anyway but it was the words he said to me.
Here's the beginning: I met him on the 22nd of August. We had the same theatre class but we didn't speak until he found me on Instagram. We bonded over Beastars, this is an important detail later.
Anyway, because I attract to people who show me basic human kindness, I developed feelings for him. I've only developed genuine romantic feelings for four people, so I'm not really used to catching feelings for people. I was overwhelmed with my feelings all that month and most of September.
I confessed my feelings near the end of August or early September if I remember correctly, and it went downhill from there.
Because I can't cope with my romantic feelings healthily and properly, I said some stupid things, I've done some stupid things. That's my fault.
I guess I hadn't realized how uncomfortable I was making him but he never actually told me until today. He never really set boundaries and if he did, they were really vague so I couldn't really tell if I was genuinely crossing his boundaries or not.
Anyway, I had plans with my cousin, him, and I today at the Commons. The commons is a place in Destin, Florida which has a ton of stores and stuff and it's really fun to be at.
Anyway, yesterday, we were talking about it and then he called me annoying. Annoying. And then he cancelled plans with me around two hours later. I'm unsure if it was because of the reason he provided me with or if he was lying to me.
Whatever. I was pretty upset for this reason, of course I was. Today is my day. Me and Jay, my cousin, were talking about it and Jay chose to be a dick to him because he was treating me pretty badly anyway.
He went out of his way to be a dick back. Paragraphs on paragraphs were sent, Iris and I wanted those two to stop. Until it came to the point where he was insulting me to my cousin.
So I calmly replied to his responses by myself and later I blocked him.
He sent a message to Jay calling me a stalker, calling me toxic. That I had red flags.
I match people's energy though, so shouldn't that say something?
Anyway, whatever. I need to let this out.
