I Never Hated You, Darling -H

Just the beginning

Jesus fuck. Why am I so nervous? They probably won't even see it! Ok ok they definitely won't see this, everything will be fine, there is no need to be nervous. Yeah! Yeah, Jasmine, you're a bad bitch, fucking remember that. "Okay, I got this, I'm a bad fucking bitch. Nothing less." I say to myself to calm my nerves. 

Why am I nervous you ask? Well you know the popular band One direction right? Who am I kidding, of course you do. Who doesn't know the band full of beautiful, respectful young men? Anyways, they're having an audition for a 6th member and I'm trying to submit my audition. I wrote a song called Fine Line and I sung that for the audition, all I have to do now is submit it. Simple, so fucking simple....

SENT. Holy fuck, I sent it! Okay okay calm down, you're fucking amazing Jasmine, don't be nervous- "JASMINE!" I hear my mother yelling for me, interrupting my racing thoughts. '"YES?". "COME DO THE DISHES PLEASE.". I sigh, I fucking hate doing the dishes like actually, it's the worst chore to do. "COMING!" I yell so she can hear me, closing my laptop and walking downstairs to the kitchen. I walk in the kitchen and see my mother standing by the stove cooking. That's a fucking first. "You're cooking?" I ask. "yeah, thought I would give your dad a break.". My step dad is who she is talking about, my birth father is an asshole. My step dad is a good cook so usually he's the one who does it. "alright". 

I walk to the sink internally groaning. I do the dishes, thank god there is only a couple. Mike, my step dad but I'll call him dad from now on, walks through the front door. I excitedly walk to the front door to greet him. "hello, beautiful." he smiles. "Hi." I say and hug him. "Did your mom cook?" he asks in a shocked manner. I chuckle and nod, "yeah, I was surprised too.". Mom ended up making biscuits and gravy. Shit was bussin for real. 

After dinner, I do the dinner dishes and head upstairs. WAITTTT HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I forgot about the audition! There's no way I could have gotten feedback by now, no way...buttt I'm still gonna check. 

Nope, no feedback yet. Shocker. I mean what did I expect, an email back within the same day? Yeah, I may be hella cocky but I ain't that cocky shawty. I go to the bathroom and take a shower, brush my teeth, and put on my pajamas. Of course there not actual pj's, I don't think I know anybody, including myself, who wears matching or actual pajamas to bed. I just throw on a shirt and pants, shorts or underwear. 

I have school tomorrow and it's only nine o'clock, so I get in bed and go on my phone. I go on tik tok and just scroll through my foryou page. I swear every time I go on social media specifically tik tok i get dazed by the app for hours and I don't even realize it. I'm just scrolling and scrolling, watching videos after videos. Some funny enough to where I save them, I have a whole fucking funny videos album on my camera roll and it has at least 2,000 videos on it. I have a problem.

I check my phone and it's twelve in the morning. yeah, time really flies when you're on tik tok but honestly I'm not mad at it. It's a good app to go on  when you're bored. I go to youtube and click on my ASMR playlist. ASMR is the best thing I have ever discovered, shit puts me to sleep in minutes. I click on a random video and like I said I'm asleep within ten minutes. 

----------------------------------------*  AUTHORS NOTE   *------------------------------------------

 HIIIIIIIIII now this is my first time ever writing a book, don't judge  too much but if you are reading this thank you and I actually really appreciate it! This chapter is pretty short but don't worry (that made me think of Don't Worry Darling) the next one which I'm publishing right after this won't BVDUHGIUDHJL but I promise this book gets so much better HJFDFHLSF

Lots of love, J