Petty Not Pretty (HueningKaiXReader They/Them Pronouns)

8

Stress.

I had soon learned that without Kai, the only thing I couldn't escape was stress. A constant pounding nagged at my head.

Ever since Kai had become more busy, we barely talked. If we were lucky, we exchanged a few texts. I never saw him in the mornings to begin with. The only time I usually saw him was at lunch or during science class after lunch. He was busy during lunch times and showed up late during science period, so he ended up sitting far away from me and my friends always swept me away before I could speak to him.

It was the first day that I hadn't seen Kai that everything I had been neglecting started to pick at my brain. The most prevalent being my post secondary options. Everyone around me was starting to pick out their top schools and what courses they needed to take to do what they wanted and I still had no clue.

I had taken on many new hobbies to find something I wanted to do. I had joined many clubs, attempting to find something I enjoyed. I figured if I gave these clubs and extracurriculars some time, maybe I would find something I enjoyed. Currently, I was on the basketball team, the volleyball team, in the journalism club, in the drama club, and I volunteered at both a homeless shelter and an animal shelter. It took up a lot of time and energy. I was fully booked.

Journalism started an hour and a half before school every other day, alternating with drama rehearsals. After school, both basketball and volleyball would alternate. On Saturdays and Sundays I would go to volunteer at either of the shelters. All of this I did on top of studying. That being said, I never said I was good at any of the things I did. I was on the starting lineups for both sports teams, but that was because of a shortage of players. In the drama club, I was but a mere background character with minimal lines and in the journalism club, I was sentenced to watching the seniors do the work because I was inexperienced.

I wanted to quit so bad. The exhaustion took a toll on my physically. But whenever I saw Kai, which wasn't that often, he looked tired too. He was doing so much for his future. He had it all figured out and there I was with nothing but some good grades and a full schedule. I thought maybe if I stuck with some of these things, I would find something I excelled at or something I enjoyed. I never did. I had nothing to show for all the time I spent working hard.

The stress of the situation sat heavily on my mind. My future was the thing that was stressing me out. Every night I would find it hard to sleep, thinking about how I would end up with a job that got me nothing. A job I didn't enjoy. In my current state, I looked up to Kai. He was someone I admired. He knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it. He had it all planned. I envied him.

I felt like I was going insane. I was, in short, tired. I wanted to stop everything I was doing and rest. I wanted nothing more than for the pounding in my head to stop.

Funny how the person who talked some sense into me was one of Kai's best friends.

It was Soobin who noticed my current state, but he wasn't the first. Soobin just was the one who set me straight.

It was during a chemistry study session. He was helping me with some chemistry work I was having trouble with.

"Okay, enough chemistry," he sighed, grabbing my notebook and textbook, shoving them to the side. "What's going on with you?"

"I don't know what you mean," I shrugged, reaching for my notebook again to continue studying.

"Hey," he said authoritatively. "You have bags under your eyes, and you're using makeup to cover them up. Don't think I don't notice. I can see how burnt out you are."

"It's nothing," I grumbled, once again reaching for my textbook again.

"Do you think Kai would like to see you being like this?" Soobin asked strictly.