My exsistance began with a white glowing warmth I remember 3 faces looking down at me in a white chasm, they spoke and told me to guard myself against the world and to be in it.
Then I remember my loving parents having years of predictable life, fights, swinging me in their hands.
I remember balloons flying away and picking mother flowers, and then the screaming every night.
Dramatic.
I learned very quickly that my presence could bring joy and I lived for that; the passing stranger's smile, a wave, an interaction with a perfect stranger where they smiled at the end, or laughed genuinely.
I writhed for it.
I lived to please and as soon as I learned I couldn't please I became frustrated, this feeling would follow me.
