Imagine Us Forever

Introduction

"You do love me! You told me Alaric! You showed me," Maria sobbed and stepped closer to me, reaching out to grab my hand. I immediately flinched away from her, as if her touch wold burn me. 

"You're a fucking bully Maria, its like asking me to love a plastic bag from Tesco. I prefer a bag for life which you're not, so you're not up to my standards anymore," I chuckled at my joke, seemingly infuriating her more, her face turning a bloody shade of red.

Though I didn't expect her to grab the plate from my dining table and launch it across the room, shattering it as well as the lamp it collided with, into a million pieces.

Indeed, what a mess she was. Not my fault though, well she had it coming. Maria was a bad person, the simplest way to put it and I was here to make her realise it. Of course I didn't love her, I just craved that broken look on her face ensuring she knew that she was fucked up. Not in the way she deserved empathy or sympathy either.

"And you wonder why I don't love you. This," I pointed between me and her, "was a mistake, a waste of time. Look at yourself Maria! You have no respect for yourself or others. I'm tired of your shit. I'm done." I told her with a blank face as I watched her shake her head frantically as if she couldn't believe what I was saying.

"I'll change Alaric. I really will. I can be more like Janie, I know you like her." She expressed with her hands clutched to her chest, the mascara from her eyelashes running down her face. Now she was just telling me lies. All they do is lie, all she does is lie. She will never change and it seemed that I was the only one in her life to know that. I wouldn't be in her life for much longer though. 

I had a flight to Manchester in about six hours to restart the cycle, it was safe to say she would never see me again after this scene.

"Janie thinks you're a piece of shit as well Maria so stop lying to yourself. It will just end in disappointment. You're not worth anything to me anymore." I told her as I walked to the fridge to get myself a drink, acting as impassive as  I possibly could. 

"Stop saying this!" She shouted at me, the tears drying up and her breathing became heavier, as if she was holding herself back from lashing out at me. There you go, the devil was about to be unleashed.

She launched herself at me, literally. Her hands went straight to my hair and started pulling before I could do anything to stop her. 

"What the fuck!" I shouted, her acrylic nails pried at my scalp as I tried to grab her wrists and get her away from me. I wasn't that bad, I would never physically harm a woman.

I managed to grab her wrists and hold her away from me as she thrashed around, her legs kicking out at me. All of a sudden she stopped and screamed "I fucking hate you!" and ran out of my house.

"The feeling is mutual." I told myself in the silence, kicking a shard of glass on the floor.

Surprisingly, that was swift. Usually it takes about two hours to get these women out of my presence because they would always want to 'talk it out' and 'fix things' then and there. I showed them that the world doesn't work like that, at least mine didn't. Essentially I was setting up these women for improvement, maybe they would get themselves a facial because skin care is self care and when you care about yourself, you become a better person. Guess what? They're idiots for believing that.

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

I only ever had relationships with the ones that didn't deserve my love, even though my love was fake from the beginning but they only found that out in the end. There was always an end for them, not for me. I got away and then ran away.

Time for a smoke it is then. I stood on the outside of my French doors, lighting a cigarette up. It was getting dark now, the moon peaking through the clouds, my previous fight not even entering my mind. I was hollow now, not that I'd admit it out loud. I had no one now, once again. Not that I was dependent on these women, they just gave me something to pass time.

Shallow I know, but expect nothing less. I like to think I am very self aware and aware of everything else around me. I've had enough time to perfect my art of observation, I was basically Jeremy Kyle. Or not really, at all.

I would be onto the next one in less than six months, with a new house in a new city. That's just how the cookie crumbles. I prefer a hobnob anyway.

As I finished off my cigarette, I threw it into the ash tray and called and Uber. 

Half an hour later they arrived, I gathered my suitcases and left the house keys and my car keys on the welcome mat outside.

Round ten, here we go.