Searching Through What Remains

They had stopped in Argus while on the way to, well, wherever they were going, they were still figuring that out. And if anything, they all found themselves all silently agreeing that they didn't exactly want to be there. The group had temporarily separated to gather supplies, and Harriet had found her teammate, Elm, who had been lost in thought. She didn't appear to notice her when she came up next to her.

"Hey, I grabbed us something to eat for when we get back to getting to wherever we plan on going. Though things were a bit slow, not that it bothered me, of course," she informed her, receiving a distant reply.

"Yep," Elm had said without turning to look at her. She had been doing it more often ever since Vine had sacrificed himself. And it wasn't because she was upset with her, more so it had to do with other things. Harriet set the components she had been holding to the side and sat next to her, holding onto them to prevent them from falling over. Once she was sure she had the positioning right, she let go of the bag.

"So the others are almost done getting what we need, and we should probably be joining them soon," she paused, concerned, "You alright?"

"What? Yeah, I think so."

The tone of her voice remained unconvinced and close to cracking.

"Look, I know neither of us are great with this kind of stuff currently, but you?" Harriet gazed at Elm from the corner of the eye before turning and pointing directly at her, "You are definitely not alright."

A few minutes passed before she eventually gave in.

"It's-- I don't even know how to feel about all of this," Elm huffed, tightening her grip on her sleeve, "We're still getting used to actually letting ourselves express our emotions, rather than just repressing them. No one is giving us orders like we're used to, though I would prefer leaving that behind for sure. And last of all, I'm the one being comforted by you when it should be the other way around."

She sighed, now folding her hands in her lap, "It's confusing."

Subconsciously, Harriet rests a hand on her back, something that was starting to become a habit for her. While it wasn't as tender as she was going for, it would do for now. Or at least she hoped it would.

She ran her fingers through the taller woman's hair, trying to keep herself as relaxed as possible, though that was still pretty difficult to do.

The two stayed like that for a little bit, the presence of each other being enough for the both of them to remain distracted long enough to allow any spiraling thoughts come to a cease.

"Just because we're both dealing with what happened to- to him," Harriet spoke up first, the way she talked coming off as almost hesitant, "Doesn't mean that my wellbeing is more important than yours."

Elm, in response, gave her a pointed look, "You've been saying that ever since we got here."

"I know I have, but-"

She stopped talking as Elm leaned against her, mumbling something under her breath. Another thing she had been doing a lot more than she usually would.

Despite her and Vine being "partners'' they had never really been, well, a thing like many would have assumed. Sure she had taken Vine (and soon enough Harriet) on occasional outings during the latter's rookie days, considering how she had joined the Ace Ops almost around two years after her, and found herself wanting a little something more with them. But due to certain circumstances, that had been it, considering how, the more she thought about it, unhealthy having a relationship could've been in the Atlas Military.

It felt selfish of her to suddenly have that want again.

Especially with how none of them were in a place for relationships at the given moment.

Eventually, Harriet spoke up, snapping her out of her almost train of thought.

"If it makes you feel better, there was this thing my parent told me and my cousin back before I moved to Atlas, though it did take me a while to really understand what they meant."

Elm shifted slightly, trying to think of what she was talking about.

"Was it something like, you can't change the past, but you can still change the future?"

"No, and what is with you and cheesy lines?" Harriet chuckled, making Elm burn up in seconds.

"Hey, it's not that cheesy," she argued playfully, lightly socking her in the shoulder, making her tilt forward slightly with a squawk.

"It is so!"

A quick whirlwind of laughter left the two women having difficulty speaking to each other for a few minutes, with them having to catch their breath.

"What I meant to say was," Harriet tapped her foot on the ground, "Don't assume that you have to be the one holding the team up."

We're not exactly a team anymore though," Elm remarked.

"True, but I'm not just referring to us formerly being the Ace Ops," Harriet said.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

She paused mid-talk, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I- never actually found out," she muttered almost shyly, suddenly feeling awkward about saying something she didn't even know the meaning of, "But what I think it meant was that, as a member of the team, you assume that it's your responsibility to hold your teammates up."

Another silence passed. They were both exhausted at this point, and wanted nothing else than to just leave the entire conversation behind.

"Just... Just tell me you won't overdo yourself," Harriet interlaced Elm's hand with hers, looking directly at her once again, but with more

"I-" Elm stopped herself before she could say anymore, thinking over how well she could hold up to that. She had never been super great with upholding promises due to most of the ones she had previously tried to keep being almost impossible for her to keep. It didn't take her long to come up with the answer she wanted to.

"I'll try."

The sincerity in her voice was enough.