Why is it you wish to die? Dazai ff, short-story

Why is it you wish to die?

They are screaming at each other again.
Nearly every evening I can hear their loud voices insulting each other, loud enough that I can hear
it in my room which is on the floor above. Even the neighbours can hear it, I am sure of it.
I can no longer take it. My head starts to spin and I can feel the headache coming up. I have to get
out of here. Maybe I should run away.
Then I open the door, head down the stairs and leave the house in a rush.
I have no idea where I should go, so I just go in the direction of the train station near our house
because I remember that there once was a bench I could sit down on.
I sit down and start thinking about my life. When did they start fighting like this? I don’t really
remember, maybe about two years ago?
At this time I started pushing away all of my friends and now I am here: alone, nowhere I can go
in this kind of situation.
“If I kill myself, would anyone miss me?”, I mumble to myself.
As I look up, a young man, maybe around my age, walks around the corner and looks at me.
“Why is it you wish to die?”, he asks me, with compassionate eyes.
“I start to think… Is there really any value to this thing we call living?”
After I said that, I started looking at the boy in front of me. He has short brown hair and wears a
black coat. All in all he looks neglected, as if he too had nowhere to go.
He lets out a bitter laugh and smiles ironically.
“If you put it this way, you might be right. I don’t know what happened to you, but if you want I
could listen to your story.”
I hesitate a bit but then start telling him about what happened.
“I see. As strange as it may sound, I am actually in a similar situation right now, so I can
understand you really well.”
The brown haired guy looks me in the eyes.
“To be honest, I actually came here to commit suicide. Since it seems like we both want to end our
lifes, why don't we commit double suicide?" After he says this he holds out his hand for me.
I raise my hand slowly and put it into his. Together we get up and go to the platform.
From afar I see the lights of the train racing into our direction.
The boy takes a step forward, followed by me.
I close my eyes.