Kaitlin walked into Lily's dorm room with a stupid grin plastered on her face. "Lilypad!" She called, taking the nickname from the much beloved television series, How I Met Your Mother. Kaitlin's biggest dream was to be Lily's Marshmallow.
Lily heard Kaitlin enter and froze, as if perhaps Kaitlin was a snake, and by not moving, Lily couldn't be seen. Alas, her plan failed, because Kaitlin peppily clapped her hands. "Lils," she cried with joy. "I've come all the way from the great land of Canadada to see you!" In all honesty, if Kaitlin was anyone, she was Robin.
Muttering rude things under her breath, Lily allowed the overzealous Kaitlin to hug her. From there, Kaitlin proceeded to tell Lily all of her plans for their road trip together: to go ice fishing (yuck), to call one another Lilypad and Marshallow (gag), to hitchhike (um), and most importantly, to stalk Jared Padalecki (well, maybe that one was okay).
Lily finished packing her bag, and Kaitlin dragged it outside with her own.
"So.." Lily began cautiously, "We're just... Going to hitchhike the whole time?" Oh Lord, the things that could happen to them. Kaitlin was too stupid to understand, and Lily too nice to hurt Kaitlin's feelings by changing the plans.
"Duh!" Kaitlin said, giggling and running up to the side of the road. She almost got ran over and giggled again. "Ooops! I'm silly!"
Lily resisted the urge to facepalm.
Eventually, after standing on the side of the road for hours, a large van that looked like something out of Scooby Doo pulled off, and the bearded man inside grinned at them. "Sup ladies!" He called. "I'm Zero." He winked at them and proceeded to whisper, "Wanna have a three way?" His belly protruded inches out of his pants and shirt, too thick to be covered.
Kaitlin clapped her hands and climbed in the van through the window. "Yay!"
Lily tried to grab Kaitlin to stop her, but she only ended up falling into the truck herself. Oh no, how stupid could someone from Canadada be?! This man clearly wasn't someone they could trust.
The smell of pot radiated from the back of the van, and Zero laughed, his tummy jiggling. "Oh yeah, that's my friend Val. She loves pot."
Kaitlin, giddy and stupid as ever, climbed into the back of the truck and began to smoke some pot with Val.
Lily, however, sat rigidly in the front seat of the van and smacked Zero's hand away when he attempted to grab her boob.
Sometime later, Val and Kaitlin emerged from the back of the van, both of them disheleved in a way that suggested they had done more than smoke pot (sex). Lily wrinkled her nose with distaste.
"HEY!" Kaitlin exclaimed. "We should go to a theme park!"
At that exact moment, someone ran out into the road, and Zero hit him with a truck. This person, Zayn, screamed and died on the road as more people continued to run him over. No one stopped, and no one seemed to care except Lily, who was mortified.
Val lifted her iPhone to her mouth and whispered, "Tell Kaitlin she has a nice ass."
"Kaitlin, you have a nice ass," came Siri's robotic voice.
Kaitlin giggled yet again. "Oh, you."
"I can't find a theme park," Zero complained, but none of them realized the reason for this was because they were on the interstate.
Suddenly, Zero gasped, "Zoinks! Do you guys see that?" A haunted house sat to the left side of the interstate. Zero, poor driver he was, swerved through 2 lanes of traffic and barged across the the guard rail of the interstate to pull into the driveway of the spooky house.
"Guys, guys, we can be just ghost hunters!" He said enthusiastically.
Kaitlin started crying, because she hated ghosts, and Val tried to comfort her through Siri but Kaitlin just got pissed because why the hell couldn't Val straight up talk to her.
Lily groaned.
They all tumbled out of the van, and a dog ran up to them, barking angrily. It bit Zero's hand. "Ow, you're as awful as rain. Oh, oh! Let's name her Rain (I'm sorry I don't know your real name Rain)!" Zero clapped, and his hand bled profusely.
Rain ran into the house, and Kaitlin ran after her yelling, "Rain, want a Scooby Snack?!"
Lily decided that rather than trying to go inside, she would just get the hell out of this place, and so she went to hitchhike with another person, and it ended up being her mom, and her mom was so mad she hitchhiked that her mom strangled her, so Lily died. Should have gone into the house, bitch.
Val strolled into the house, still smoking pot. She found a ghost inside, and she tried to sex her up like she had with Kaitlin, but the ghost, Lyssa, smacked her across the face and huffed off to go make love to Easton, her psychotic boyfriend who wasn't actually a ghost but thought that he was. He had actually killed all of the ghosts inside and made them ghosts so.
Rain ran into kitchen and growled when she saw two grown men standing there.
"Whoa, easy there lil' lady," Dean said, to which Sam rolled his eyes.
There was also a film crew, and when Kaitlin ran into the kitchen, she shrieked the most high pitched noise to have ever been made. It actually made Dean's ears bleed, and they had to postpone the filming of the episode. Kaitlin ran to Sam and kissed him madly. She had fulfilled 2 points on the list now: hitchhike and see Jared Padalecki.
Zero and Val just made out inside the house because Lyssa wouldn't do the do with Val. Val loved his chubby belly and scraggly beard.
Still, though, they hadn't found a theme park. How they expected to find one in that house don't ask me.
What they did find was that Val's hair was falling out. Evidently, that was a side effect of smoking pot, and Kaitlin cried because she didn't want her hair to fall out too.
At least they weren't dead like Lily. They still hadn't realized Lily was gone. Oh well.
Now, all of them ran out of the house because Easton came running down the stairs laughing and holding a running chain saw.
They piled back into Zero's van and pulled back onto the highway, causing 6 crashes in the process. Oh well.
"Oh, look look!" Kaitlin exclaimed, seeing a Six Flags.
Zero was drinking though, and suddenly he passed out, and they lost control of the car.
"Oh, shit," Val said into Siri, and then they all crashed and died.
"Oh, shit," Siri said.
