At the End of the Road

Simula

Being a keen observer can both be a blessing and a curse to a relationship. Blessing because you will be able to notice every details-even the smallest ones about you and your partner. You will be able to remember every single details about them. But what makes it a curse? It is the ability to notice everything, even the slightest change in their behaviors and moods. And worst, it can make you an over thinker. Being able to observe they are slowly drifting away from you, thinking they are not as excited as you are in the things you used to laugh and enjoyed together, and suddenly feeling the absence of warmth-the coldness, is a feeling that every person wouldn't want to feel when everything seems so fine.

Napayakap ako sa'king mga binti ng humampas ang malakas at malamig na hangin sa aking balat. I won't mind the coldness when the view from here is a food for the eyes. The green mountains, the dancing trees and the calm waters in the river; a scenery I wanted to see everyday. It reminds me of how beautiful life is despite of all the chaos.

Kinuha ko ang camera na nakasabit sa leeg ko at sinimulang kunan ng litrato ang magandang tanawin. This is what I love in camping and traveling, collecting memories through photographs.

From those breathtaking and picturesque sceneries, I shifted the focus of my camera to that one particular spot.

I can't help but to smile to the sight I am seeing right now. I will never get tired of admiring and taking photos of him.

"Babe, smile" I said, calling his attention.

Napangiti naman ako nang lumingon siya sa aking direksyon. Kinuhaan ko siya ng litrato habang inaayos niya ang aming tent. Despite all the beautiful sceneries here in the world, he is still the best view for me. A view that always takes my breath away and fill my heart with joy.

"Babe, isang smile naman diyan oh!" muli kong sabi.

"Hey, mamaya na 'yan. Look, I'm busy here" masungit niyang tugon. Mapait akong ngumiti. Dati rati, sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, he would always submit to my whims, especially my love for photography. He would always stop whatever he's doing just to smile and pose so I can have a photo of him. He would sometimes initiate to take a photo of us because he knew how I love keeping a photograph everytime we're together. But now, all I ask is for his smile even for a second, and he can't even give me that. Or maybe I am just so nosy?

"Okay, sorry babe"

Ipinagpatuloy ko na lamang ang pagkuha ng litrato sa paligid. Natuwa ao roon sa isang ligaw na bulaklak na nakita ko kaya kinuhaan ko ito ng napakaraming litrato sa iba't-ibang anggulo.

Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto ay tinawag niya na ako.

"Babe, I'm done" aniya. I turned off my camera and quickly walked towards him. Kaagad kong kinuha sa bag ko ang isang face towel at nilapitan siya.

"Look babe, you're sweaty. But still, smells good" nakangiti kong sabi atsaka idinampi sa kanyang mukha ang towel.

"Babe, you don't need to. I can do that" he said with a hint of annoyance in his voice then he looked away. Muli, ay mapait akong ngumiti. Hinayaan ko na lamang siyang gawin iyon.

Lump is slowly forming in my throat and God knows how hard I'm trying to stop my tears from falling.

Dati rati, hinahayaan niya lamang akong gawin iyon. He even kisses my forehead and will say "My baby is so sweet, so wife material" after I wipe all his sweats. But now? He seems like a different person to me.

Why do I feel he's slowly drifting away from me? Everything has changed, and it's been two months of enduring and dealing with all the hurting of his sudden change of attitude towards me.