Love Will Bring You Home

2021 - Night 1

She ascended the stairs to the loft slowly, a little nervous, a little hopeful, and very unsure of what to expect. As she reached the loft that overlooked the perfectly recreated sets, she was taken by surprise at all of the emotions that flooded back to her in an instant. The last time she had been in that space was the night of the finale with Courteney, Matt, and David, seventeen years ago.

She had lived so much life since then. She was a completely different person than she was the last time she was here – back before all of the heartache... back before life had taken all of those twists and turns that she never expected. Being here was much harder than she thought it would be.

As she peered down on the set below, she felt a set of eyes on her. She scanned the small loft and noticed David on the other side, sitting on the black couch. He appeared lost in thought, but when their eyes met, he smiled.

Something about being back there, in that loft with him, was so beautiful and so painful all at the same time. It felt like an eternity ago that this was the most natural occurrence in the world. She wished it still felt that way.

"So... I know you, Jen. I know when something is wrong. What is it? Why did you push me away?"

She was a bit startled by his forwardness. He had always been one to get right to the point. Was he talking about today? Something told her there was much more to the question. Suddenly, she felt her inhibitions escape her...and she allowed them to. She had spent seventeen years harboring questions that kept her awake at night. She was tired of holding on to them any longer.

"Push you away? I didn't push you away. You're the one that ran away when I needed you."

He stood up from the couch, as if it were the only way to level with her, his dark eyes peering at her from across the room. His face hardened and he swallowed hard. "Needed me? I was protecting us! You know we couldn't let anything happen between us while we were working together!"

"That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about after... when you moved to New York."

"What? You were married! What the hell was I supposed to do? Sit around and wait for him to break your heart? I asked you to wait for me...

...why didn't you wait for me?"

His words dug at the pieces of her heart she had worked so hard to glue together over the years. He was right.

He was always right.

She let out a sigh. "It was too damn hard, David!"

She fought back a sob like her life depended on it. He stared back with equal intensity, searching for an answer. The air was thick with masked feelings.

"It was too hard to be around you every day, having to love you on camera and pretend like I didn't once they shut off. I had no other choice."

"Jen, I watched you fall in love with someone else. I watched you marry someone else. I tried to make myself fall for someone - I tried to move on. Even after all of that, I couldn't do it. I couldn't get you out of my head, no matter what I did. Do you know how much it hurt to see you with him, knowing that you should have been with me instead, but there wasn't a goddamn thing I could do about it?"

Tears began to well up in the corner of her eyes. She was terrified that she could be making a huge mistake.

"Why didn't you tell me? You never said a word. I just assumed you had moved on! You were in relationships! You were doing fine! Then you just left, right when my world was falling apart. I tried to reach out and you wouldn't even talk to me."