she's like music to my ears. really. everything i listen to reminds me of her somehow, and i think she knows this; if only subconsciously. it sounds cheesy, sappy, but if it's repeated all of the time in everything, there's got to be a truth to it. right? i can't be the only one to feel this way. i can't be imagining it because if i am, then everyone else is. and so are you.
in the lyrics, in the words, in the silence in between the notes. the rhythms. the tempo. there she is. like honey thick and smooth.
you know that feeling when you listen to your favorite song? how it feels you with something that is so indescribable? it's fulfilling and you become intoxicated off of it and you want to experience it over and over again. but your afraid you'll become tired of it, but you never do. because it's your favorite song. that's how it feels when I'm around her. can your favorite song become tired of you?
i just want to know desperately, how does she see me? does she hear the music? am I her favorite song? does that song remind her of me when she listens to it? no. i know i'm not. and after trying, i know that i am never going to be to change that. i know that there isn't romantic music playing inside of her head whenever i walk into the room. i know that the song i introduced to her, the one that's now her favorite but she's too afraid to admit it, is just another song to her. just one she happened across one day. one that she happened to like. not because of me.
if i knew what radio station to tune into to feel her waves, to really understand the music that she plays, i'd echo it perfectly. the tones. the feelings. everything. or, at least, i would try. but after a while, you realize that people outgrow music styles. they outgrow their favorite songs. their favorite genres become something of the past. a nostalgic, hazy memory of them before. before they became who they are at the present. and it hurts me, but i do know that's what i was for her. a growing point. the genre that helped her realize what she's really into. and honestly, i'm fine with that. i have no other choice. i hope her new favorite song is as pretty as her last was.
YOU ARE READING
not so ugly
Conto"unexpressed emotions will never die. they are buried alive and will come forth in uglier ways." my rants and emotions turned into oneshots and short stories. enjoy my pain <3
