Drugs

introduce

TW/ talk of depression, self harm , suicidal thoughts and attempts. mention of therapy and mantel health hospital.
a/n- hey welcome to my new book drugs i hope you like this please if your sensitive to any of those topics please don't read it I don't want you to be triggered and stay safe ❤️

Livs pov:
life sucks it really does if I though I have someone in this world I'm wrong the only person I have is my best friend Spencer everybody else hates me my parents hate my family hates me everyone thinks I have a problem in my head well guess what maybe I do .

I've been living hell this past years just because I'm bi doesn't mean I'm not an human but I'm my parents mind I'm not I'm just a big mistake that's what they tell me everyday , I've tried to end it so many times but it didn't work why you asking because someone had always catch me trying to take my worthless life away and finally end this stupid pain the reason I still standing in this plant is because of the drugs I became addicted like a year ago and I can't stop and to be honest I don't want to it's makes me feel good makes my problems go away

but then they always come back and hunt me especially when I go to sleep my thoughts can't shut up my brain tells me to end it to just end this pain but it doesn't work for me I guess I have to suffer in this world and then maybe finally die and disappear sometimes I wish I was never born .

i think I'm just a big trash of problems nothing works on me I've been on therapy I've been in a fucking mantel health hospital closed in a fucking room going crazy having to deal with literally nut people around me when I got up of this shitty place my parents forced me to take the pills they preceded for me

of course I didn't wanted to take them because all they do is shove pills down your fucking throat and make go even crazier and then have you locked up in a nut house
But I won't let them do this I don't want someone to take my life or something like pills and shit I want to do it my own I deserve to end it by myself not anybody else of anything can stop me

at least that's what I thought until I tried the first time and spencer catch me and stopped me before I could go any forward
Flashback-

I'm so hopeless right now nothing can help me or change it my parents keep calling me a mistake a disappointment they think I'm sick in the head but I guess they are right I mean I want to literally die everyday and I fucking take drugs and shit so that's already being sick in the head I'm so over this shit I'm so sick and tired of this shitty life I just want to die and end this nobody will care anyways

I'm just a weight on my parents if I die they'll be free from their sick daughter they'll be happy everyone is going to be happy they'll have a normal family they won't be embarrassed of Having a problematic child as tears stemmed down my face I ran to my bathroom closing the door looking for something sharp as I look I found a blade I take and sit down on the floor completely broken I have no energy to live anymore I'm so sick of it I can't deal with anymore I look at the blade and I push oh through my wrist making a line and another one and another one but deeper when I went for another one I heard the door open I looked up and saw spencer with a trifled face and tears in her eyes as my vision got blurry and my eyes closed
the next thing I know is me on the hospital bed

" why did you save me !"
" what do you mean why?" Spencer said completely broken
" CUZ I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE DONT YOU GET IT WANNA DIE JUST LET ME DIE SO THIS STUPID PAIN WILL ALREADY END" I said snapping back at her with tears in my eyes

" you can't die liv and you won't! Don't let that shit take over you you have to be strong you have to fight it I can't loose you your my best friend "
" we'll guess what nothing fucking works on me get it already I'm a lost fucking cause I have nothing to do on this stupid world "
" yes you do! "
End of flashback-