All my love is gone. There is nothing worth loving inside my body. I am nothing, I have tried multiple times to remove myself from this world but it is simply impossible. I am two hundred and ten years old, I was welcomed into this world in the year 1800 on the thirteenth of September. I turned sixteen and never grew any older. My friends were afraid and told me stories of their business. I trusted them but slowly they faded from my frozen life and I never saw them again, I didn't even get a goodbye. I have lived in secret since then, being swallowed by the dark shadows and never being released out of their non-chewing mouths. I am therefore a creature of the night, haunting and killing. I am feared and I am going to keep it that way, have a never ending peaceful life, if that's what you can call it.
I have no idea if there are any others people like me, a vampire. I was born not made, making me the first, I think. I never went searching for others, I was afraid I would lose control of my bloodlust and kill a human on the streets. After my human friends abandoned me I hid, in the dark and never came out. Most of the vampire stories are untrue, some little details that that thought were thoughtless were true, but they didn't pay any attention to the little details of my kind to know those facts were almost correct. I don't know if I am able to have children, I never really found the right man, and by that I have to mean a human. I don't want to attach myself to a human and then they will grow old and I will have to leave before they notice my frozen age. Facts about vampires burning in sunlight are false but when I am out in the sunlight my skin pales more than it already is and that is very pale, it's not very noticeably unless you are observant. I have been called an albino many times by humans seeing me in the sunlight, a have only been in the city a few times to see if I can handle my bloodlust, I could. Now I barely notice the smell. We are unbelievably creatures, yes, it's how our prey comes to us, I think, I am not sure, I have never tasted human blood. I stick with animal blood, it's not the most delicious thing but it's better than killing off people who have their whole lives ahead of them, I will give them that opportunity because I never had it myself. We have powerful strength and speed. I am thinking vampires can have a gift, I do. I have visions, yes crazy, but true. I used to just have dreams when I was 'human' and they came true. I now have them when awake and they are very useful. When I was 'human' I was called crazy when I said my dreams always come true. Anyway, I cannot sleep, so it gives me a lot of time to educate myself. I don't go to school of course, I am very good at history because most of the stuff they probably talk about was when I was 'alive' or vampire. All my memories came clearer and I could never forget my human life. All my senses are sharper, my hearing, smell, eyesight but not so much my taste, I only craved something different. It is also very useful to have sharper senses. How can we die? We can't. It is very, very improbable for that to happen. We have to be ripped apart and burnt, at least some movies and books got that right. I'm pretty sure that is the only way we can die, we can't get stabbed in the heart with a stake and die because our heart is un-beating so it is not needed to live. There is nothing in the body needed so therefore you must kill all of it, dispose it all and burn it, not leaving any skin attached to anything, it must all be separated. But our skin is strong, like steel so it is extremely hard to rip apart. I am supposedly un-killable.
It has taken me years to learn all of this, it is very hard to too because I was afraid I might actually die from some of these experiments. It's like trying to figure out if you were human if you would die jumping from an airplane, you never know if you will actually survive so it is very scary.
I have a few opinions as to how to make others of my kind. But I have never put them into action. I suspect that if I drained them nearly fry of their blood I could then give them my own, draining myself near dry but I wouldn't die from it as easy as a human would. I would be in my most vulnerable state after this until I fully recover. Then that person will have to take a life, either human or animal. I found that out in my first few weeks of this life, I was wondering in the forest near my village I called home and I came across a mountain lion, it tasted simply delicious. I couldn't resist myself even though I felt revolted by what I had done. I never went back to my family except to get a few things of mine and I went to the other side of the country and vowed to never see them again. My parents died in a fire at Church when I was at a friend's place, it was my first time missing the ceremony, it was very boring but I respected my parent's wishes to teach me about our God. I had to plead, beg and whine till they allowed me to miss it just this once. My friend, Keilyn, was her name never had to go to Church, her parents didn't make her, and they were one of the few families that didn't believe it that sort of thing. I, of course, never held it against her. We talked non-stop about our schooling and other friends, we gossiped and everything. The next day friends of my parent's found me while I was walking back home, their names were Jareth and Raziel. I knew them very well and was surprised to see them running around the place. They came straight up to me and said they were very sorry. I was puzzled.
