Eidolon: The Fallacy

Chapter 1 - Cracks and Crevices

The windshield's glass began to splinter, relenting under the pressure of Death pushing against it as he fumbled with his seat-belt in a daze. His ears rang and he could feel something warm, wet, trickling down his face. Was that blood? His eyes struggled to combine the doubled images into one cohesive scene as he turned his head slowly, wincing at the sudden pain, instinctively cradling his head. Forcing himself to shake it off, Shade surveyed his surroundings. His eyes widened at the sudden realization - his car was almost completely submerged in the murky rising water. Christ! How long had he been out?! In a panic, Shade shifted in his seat, pushing his legs against the driver's window. With a quick thrust, he kicked against the glass to no avail. He kicked again, as his heart began to beat frantically. Nothing.

Shade recalled the small crack on his windshield. Turning his legs towards it and summoning all his strength, he took a deep breath and slammed the heel of his shoe into the crack, shattering the glass. Water came rushing in, flooding the vehicle as Shade held his breath and pulled himself through the windshield. Bits of jagged glass sliced against his skin, blood staining the water red as he pushed, breaking through the water's surface. Shade gasped for breath, as the water pulled his vehicle under until it was completely out of sight. He had been lucky to break free. Then it hit him, like a fist to the chest, Shade was shockingly aware of the freezing temperature. His haggard breaths released a cloud of foggy mist and he began to shudder uncontrollably. Shade's vision began to blur again, slowly darkening. Off to the distance he could hear a bird calling-No. A dog. A man? Then nothing. As darkness, an empty void, engulfed his mind.

 ~*~

A flash.  He had let his mind wander again.

Inexplicably groggy, 28 year old Shade rested his head on the back of the armchair, arms outstretched tightly gripping the worn and stained fabric between his fingers. His eyes wandered onto the ceiling, tracing every groove, every crack, every crevice. Counting and recounting them. The soft rumbling of Dr. Lucienne's voice vibrated in his head as the second hand beat incessantly. How did he let things get so far out of his control? Why couldn't he remember? His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the Dr.'s voice:

'...obsessive compulsive disorder...' "

The voice trailed off in his mind. Shade tilted his eyes towards Dr. Lucienne. Obsessive compulsive disorder? Sure. Why not add it to the list. His thoughts questioned the diagnosis as Dr. Lucienne continued.

"...so I am going to recommend that you begin taking some medication that should help you with these intrusive thoughts and control some of the urges you feel are--Shade?" Noting her patient's disinterest, Dr. Lucienne scribbled a prescription on a pad, tearing the leaf off and handing it him. "Shade, if you are truly motivated to help yourself you're going to have to work on focusing during our sessions. Dialoguing is important, I am here for you but in order to be useful your mind needs to be here with us in this room. Please come back and see me in a week."  Shade leaned over and grabbed the prescription, then pushed himself up from the chair.

"Thanks." And with that he left. 

~*~

Shade walked along the sidewalk.  It would be a long way back to his apartment, but he preferred it over the crowded bus.  He clenched the piece of paper in his right hand.  How many times had he made this walk over the past year?  How often had he received these pieces of paper since the accident? Useless.  He thought.  Shade kept his eyes low as he walked, watching his feet every step, noting every crack in the concrete and taking evasive action.  Though it was more subconsious now, he didn't really realize it anymore.  Noting and keeping track of such patterns had become a habit to him now.  

Was this even worth it?  The only reason he was even going was to keep others from worrying.  Why did they even worry?  It wasn't like he was hurting anyone and quite frankly it wasn't any of their business.  It was getting dark now.  He yawned.  Shade hadn't noticed how long he had been stuck in his thoughts.  He was now only minutes away from home.  Home.  Seems strange calling it that now. Shade hadn't ever truly felt at home.  He continued around the corner, his apartment was just past that pharmacy.  Shade paused, gazing up at the pharmacy.  No. It's pointless.  He squeezed the prescription and shoved it into his coat pocket turning to walk away.