Scandalous Affair: Atlas Mate

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O L I V I A   V A L E Z

Everything went into a blur. Like, how the eye of the storm would cause rampage to different places. It was so fast, like how the lighting would slice the dark sky. I didn't even know what I was doing here in front of the mirror wearing these things. All I knew was that I was supposed to confess my feeling to Atlas. That's the primary reason why I am here.

Prima helped plan things out. She was so active on the things I should do, and I shouldn't do. It was the first time I felt that I wasn't alone shouldering these painful feelings inside me. If I only knew that telling someone what I had gone through would make me feel light, then I would have done it sooner. Perhaps, those sleepless nights would lessen, and I hope after letting Atlas know about my feelings for him, would finally set me free. 

Before I went here, I prayed to all the saints to let me succeed in the things I would do today. I wanted things to go with my plan, but looking at myself now, I knew everything would be different. I was wearing a skimpy Venician carnival costume, and it came with a half-white mask with extravagant red feathers. Sa laki noong feathers na nakakabit sa maskara, ay halos hindi na makita ang buhok ko pagsuot ito. 

Kahit na nagtataka at hindi makapaniwala sa mga nangyayari sa akin ngayon, ay ipinagpatuloy ko ang pag-aayos sa aking sarili. I curled my hair and styled it into an updo, para mamaya ay hindi na talaga ito makita bukod 'pag ako'y tumalikod. Mahirap na at baka makilala nila ako, lalo na't nandito pa naman mamaya si Dad. Many things change in me for the past few years, physically and mentally. I grew three inches in height and my body matured a lot. Well, I shed some baby fats, and my body honed more. The curves was now more vissible and my boobs grew. Even my voice slightly became more womanly.

I wasn't a little girl anymore.

For the last touch, I applied the ruby red lipstick they required us to put. Lahat ng tauhan sa club na ito ay nakakatulad ko ng costume dahil iyon ang tema para sa gabing ito. Pati na rin ang oulang lipstick ay kailangang sundin. Oo, nakapagtataka kung bakit nga ba ako napunta sa sitwasyong ito. Honestly, hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako nandito. I was just standing on the side of this club a while ago, dahil masyado pang maaga ang pagpunta ko. Hindi ko naman alam na ngayon pala ang dating ng mga bagong recruit nila. Kaya napagkamalan akong isa sa mga bago. Pinagalitan pa nga ako kanina kasi patay-tayo pa ako sa gilid at hindi pa mag-ayos.

I tried explaining, but they seemed to be too busy to listen to me. Aligagang-aligaga ang mga staff kanina pagpasok ko, mukhang may pinaghahandaan sila para sa gabing ito. And I think I have an idea which event they are preparing for too much. 

"Hey, aren't you going out?"

Agad akong napalingon sa bandang pintuan ng dressing room. Papalabas na ang ibang babaeng katulad ko ang suot. Iba-iba nga lang kami ng kulay at ng iilang style. 

"Wait, a sec." 

Isang huling sulyap ang ginawa ko sa aking sarili sa salamin, bago napagpasyahang isuot ang maskara. I followed them as we entered the real deal. The lights are now on. The club was decorated in deep colors, and laces were hanging from the ceiling. Overall, it looked like an exotic carnival in the medieval era. If I were a tourist and looking for fun, I would be in awe. But, my situation was far from that. I wasn't here to have fun nor have a vacation. I was here with a purpose. 

One of the head girls here gave me a tray. I almost dropped it because I was too busy looking around. I didn't know if I was supposed to be happy or not. Dapat ba akong maging masaya at mukhang waitress lang ang ibinigay sa aking trabaho at hindi performer? My original plan was to wait for Atlas outside the bar and try my best to be discreet. Pagkatapos ay yayain siyang mag-usap kahit saglit, after noon ay sisibat na rapat ako.