my friend x a giant rat

this is your last chance to turn back, don't say i didn't warn you

(for some minimal context, my friend had just murdered the rat in a heaven vs. hell war, wanting to be rid of it forever. this is told in second person, my friend being "you" in this situation)

And yet as you finally land on the ground, blood and sweat dripping off your face, you think for a moment and realize what a mistake you have made. You force the tears out of your eyes. Now who, you wonder, who will shove himself up my anus while a milf has me in her basement? You try to take your mind off of the war and killing your one true love - the one creature who both in life and death could make you cry with pleasure and pain, somehow at the same time - but it never works. Your sorrows bury themselves deeper into your chest as each day passes, and every time you feel your angel buddies slap your rear, you know something is missing. 

The day you have been awaiting approaches. You ask your closest friend, the milf, for help. It was lucky that she recently passed on and miraculously made it into heaven herself. She knew how to get the rat back. "All you need," she whispered, not wanting her newfound milf-friends to overhear her helping you, "is a little bit of Blond Bitch Boy Bottom™️ juice." You stare at her, not quite understanding. She acknowledges your confusion and repeats herself, clarifying where you had to go. "It's a perilous journey, and one you may not be able to return to heaven due to, but trust me when I say that I believe in true love. And this," she gestured to your getup, noting all the weaponry you stole from the old war sheds, your Air Force 1s in white, and Sonic merch, "this is true love." You nod curtly, quietly thanking her for her information and help. She gives you one last look, a quick goodbye, and walks off before either one of you can say another word. 

It took months of walking, running, hiking, and then eventually flying with the angel wings you forgot you had for a while before you finally reached the Cavern of Not Being Able To Name Things Creatively. "Hello?" you call into the cavern, waiting for the supposedly-kind giant to hear and respond. 

"Enter my cavern and state what you seek," the giant demanded. You didn't dare refuse. 

"I seek Blond Bitch Boy Bottom™️ juice." The giant smiles warmly and looks you up and down. 

"Of course, let me just grab some." The giant swiftly reaches down his pants and pulls out his hearty cock. You turn away, flushing with embarrassment. Was the milf sure that this was right? 

"Listen, I'm not sure that I'm in the right place-"

"Nonsense!" The giant interrupted. "You want to bring back a loved one from the forever that is the abyss, don't you?" You hesitate, then nod. "Then here is your ticket to that!" You shakily grab the bottle of semen from the giant's hands, getting surprised at how light it was. Then you realize, you don't know what you have to do with this. The giant is giving you an expectant look, but you're so confused. How does barely a pound of a giant's sperm help bring back your loved one - your rat? "I can tell that you're confused. All you have to do is drink it while thinking about whomever you wish to bring back." You want to stop and run away, yet it seems... truthful. You tilt your head back and chug. 

In one swift movement, you are back at your house in heaven. For a second you believe those many months of travel were just a dream, but then you feel it. Moving around in your torso, writhing around your intestines playfully and with charm only he could master, you know that your rat is back.