Jensoo- Love Inevitably

"The One that Got Away"

LISA's POV

"I didn't know that this place has the prettiest barista in Korea."

"Can I just order you instead?"

Those were the exact words you told her, that moment we arrived at the café for the group review.

I know you only meant to compliment her, but I never thought that simple lines like that could ever hurt my heart so bad.

I was there behind you, watching you exchange sweet conversations while I put a smile on my face acting like it doesn't bother me at all..

It shouldn't bother me at all.. Cause finally, I can see you happy and that should make me at peace..

But why does it hurt so much here?

It's like an emotional torment, watching you cast that kind of look that you only give to the person you love the most.

I should know..

Cause for years since I've known you, you used to look at me like that.

For so long, I used to hold that special place in your heart Jennie.

We grew up together, fought together, dream together.. Fell in love together..

Even when we were still kids you would always hold my hand cause you know how it feels to be alone and you never want me to feel that way.

You were always selfless. Loving me unconditionally.

For years, you were my safe haven.. my companion.. my partner in crime..

While kids at our age were building sand castles and playing afternoon tea with their dolls, we were out there, building our own magical world and I would always be the happiest kid, just watching you dream.

It's the best feeling in the world.. You, including me in all of your dreams that you specifically made just for me.

Those were the happiest moments in my life Babe..

Back when the world was still a happy place to live in and life was still kind for me..

But that was before...

Funny, how everything can change in just a whirlwind..

You're life, the people that you love.. all your dreams..it can be taken away from you in just a blink of an eye and before you even know it, you barely recognize your life and how happy you were back then..

You barely recognize yourself anymore..

Things have changed and your life will never be the same again...

It will never be the same again..

It's a fucked up feeling.. Being trapped in a cruel world where you can longer feel that you belong there. It's like my soul was stuck there, right in the middle of the highway where my parents died that I never found my way back home to you..I wanted to go home to you and take you back..

And as much as I want to keep you in my life I just can't.. I am not the same person that you built your dreams with.. Sadly, I am not capable of doing that anymore..

Cause whenever I look at the future all I see is blank space.

Nothing to look forward to...

I should be happy.. Cause this is all I ever wanted when I let you go..-Seeing you happy and dreaming again..

But why does it feels like it's killing me inside?