I Hate You But I Love You More

Chapter 30

I exit my room with a yawn. My one hour nap seems like five minutes. I'm kind of just tired. I've been putting together Jaqueline's interview into words and let's just say there's a lot of tweaks I'm making in it. I have to write things that doesn't make her look crazy.

I enter the living room and Darson beckons me over almost immediately. I pass my hand in on my hair that is up in a messy bun as I go over. He pulls the black framed glasses from his eyes while I sit. As a last minute, he pulls me to sit on him.

I'm still super aware when Darson is this close. It's hard to believe that a few weeks ago we wanted nothing but to be as far from each other as possible and now we can't spare one inch apart.

His hands wrap around my waist. "Why'd you take off the glasses. You always look good in it." I point out. I figure I should start a conversation to fan away the awkward silence but I couldn't imagine it would have been with those words.

"I always knew you checked me out when I wear it." A smirk forms on his lips and I tsk and look away from him. "Sometimes I wear it just for you."

"You can't take a compliment without making me sound like some kind of obsessed fan girl, can you?" I go to stand but he pulls me back to him. Does he know I can feel it?

"Don't you think I sound like the obsessed one vying for you attention all the time?" This make a smile form on my lips. "I don't think so either." He adds in and I smack him on the chest. "Fine. If it's going to make you feel better I think about you all the time. Literally." I narrow my eyes at him.

"You're exaggerating."

"I'm seriously not. It's really unhealthy and that's why I had to do something about it by pursuing you." I like how he's just casually putting that out there. Darson is always open about his feelings and then there's me who is always holding back due to the constant fear of Darson screwing me over. It's really not a good fear to have in a relationship but I can't be blamed. If this even is a relationship anyway. I don't know what this is.

"Don't you feel weird about it though?" I look at him.

"About what?"

"That we disliked each other and now we're here in this....in this thing." I motion between us and he seems as though thinking. "What even is this thing?" He is staring at the floor. Why isn't he answering as quickly as I want him too?

"What is it usually with other people?"

"It can be anything. " I answer without batting an eye. "So what is it with us?" Darson shifts. His silence is killing me. Darson definitely doesn't know what to call this himself.

I stand to walk away but a hand quickly hugs me from the back. "I don't know what to call you. We kind of just skipped girlfriend." I can hear the grin in his voice. "Whatever you are I want to call you babe and wake up next to you everyday. I want to be your smile and your everything." This makes my heart pound. I wasn't ready. "Yes, I'm that selfish." I laugh at that and turn around to him.

"Yes, you are." The smile on his face brings one to my lips. I can't help the doubt at the back of my head. For a split second my smile drops. He snuggles into my neck and the smile appears again.

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I finally stand and stretch my hands out with a sigh after hitting the send button on the keyboard. Email sent. "You're finished with your first magazine entry, aren't you?" I nod at the boss who is watching me from her doorway. Most of the lights are already off and there is only the boss and I here.

"Yep." So informal. Khara, do you want this job or not?

"I'll check it in the morning and approve it." I nod while taking up my bags.