Bulong Sa Hangin

Hindi mo mabilang kung pang ilang beses mo nang binabanggit ang mga salitang iyon.

Isang bulong sa hangin ngunit palahaw ng puso.

Si Pablo. High school student pa lamang kayo noong una n'yong makilala ang isa't isa. He's smart and a responsible class representative.

But he could really be clumsy and forgetful sometimes.

Naalala mo pa noong isang hapon na patakbo n'yang inakyat ang bus. Dahil sa pagmamadali'y nabitawan n'ya ang panyo sa kamay. Isang hapon rin nang maiwan n'ya ang panyo sa inuupuang bus. Sa canteen, sa gymnasium, sa grandstand, at maging sa ibabaw ng desk nito ay naiiwan ang panyong iyon.

You always make sure to get that poor handkerchief and give it back to him, dahil baka gawing pamunas ng chalk sa board.

Dahil sa mga insidenteng iyon, naging malapit ang loob n'yo sa isa't isa. You always accompany each other that people always teases both of you and would assume that there's something going on between you two.

There isn't.

But in your heart, there is.

"Bakit hindi mo pa palitan 'yang panyo mo? The sides are already tattered. You sure it could still help you with your sweat?"

Bumuntong hininga s'ya. "Hindi s'ya para sa pawis ko."

"Eh?" Napakurap ka sa sinabi n'ya. "So, para saan?"

He pointed out his eye. "Para sa luha."

Natigilan ka sa sinabi n'ya.

"You see, this is from my mother. She knows that I don't want anyone to see me cry. That's why she gave this to me to hid my face while crying. I never thought that I'll use this right after that day. She never told me that she's going to a place where I couldn't follow."

You swallowed the lump on your throat as you fight the urge to cry.

"Since then, I always bring this with me. Not for my tears though 'coz I don't cry anymore. I just know someone who's a crybaby that every little thing could make her cry."

Nang matapos s'yang magsalita, tumulo na ang mga luhang kanina mo pa pinipigilan. You looked at him and blinked several times.

He stared at you and chuckled. "You don't need to fight it, you know."

He wiped your tears with that handkerchief as you tried your best to breath properly. Ramdam mo ang pamumula ng mukha mo at sa lapit ng mukha ninyong dalawa, halos matalo mo ang pag-usok ng barbeque sa tindahan na nalampasan n'yo.

You knew. Ramdam mo ang mga salita at kilos n'yang nagbibigay kahulugan.

Ngunit, nakuntento ka.

"Kung importante pala, 'e, bakit palagi mong iniiwan!?"

"Hoy. Naiiwan. Hindi iniiwan."

You pat his back gently. "Don't hid your tears. You love your Mom, don't you? Kapag mahal natin ang isang tao at bigla silang nawala sa atin, normal lang ang umiyak. Lakasan mo. Those tears are our heart's agonizing scream."

Lumipas ang mga taon at nagkahiwalay kayo ng landas. You still contact each other but the day came when you're not updated from anything about him anymore. Maybe because you two are both adults now and have several priorities than before. It can't be helped.

Taon lang ang lumipas dahil ang nararamdaman sa puso'y nanatili.

One day, you heard an upcoming reunion with your high school batchmates. Hindi ka nag atubiling pumunta dahil hindi na kaya ang pusong nangungulilang maramdaman muli ang kanyang presensya.

Hindi maipinta sa iyong mukha ang saya nang muli mo s'yang makita.

Si Pablo.

Ang iyong Pablo.

Unti-unting sumilay sa kanyang mukha ang ngiting kilalang-kilala mo.

You both spent the whole day together, side-by-side. Sa rami ng gusto n'yong i-kwento sa isa't isa'y kulang ang dalawampu't apat na oras.

Ngunit sa kabila ng mahabang oras ay hindi mo pa rin masabi.

Natapos ang reunion party at magkatabi kayo sa bus na maghahatid sa inyong lahat sa pag-uwi. Alam mong ito na ang pagtatapos ng araw at maaaring matagalan ang sunod n'yong pagkikita.

You drew a deep breath - the deepest breath you could muster before facing him. To your shock, he also faces you and you both looked like there's something you both wanted to tell.

Walang lumalabas na salita - tinraydor ka ng iyong bibig.

Bago pa man n'ya banggitin ang iyong pangalan ay tumigil ang bus. Sa pagkakataong iyon, alam mong maghihiwalay na muli ang landas n'yo.

He closed his mouth and smiled. "This is my stop."

You smiled back but it didn't reach your eyes.

"Don't be sad. Kita tayo ulit next time. You have my new number, right? Call me anytime, okay?"

But why do you feel like there wouldn't be a "next time"?

He waved and turned his back to leave the bus but you saw a familiar handkerchief beside you.

You grabbed it and quickly run to the bus door.

"Pablo!"

He stopped walking and quickly turned around to look at you.

...mahal kita.

"Naiwan mo na naman 'yung panyo mo!"

Ibinigay mo ang panyo sa kanya.... kasama ang isang bagong panyo.

Iyon na ang huli mong natandaan bago mawalan ng preno ang bus na sinasakyan mo.

Nagising ka dahil sa malalakas na pag iyak.

You slowly sat up and saw a kneeling figure near the window. With the moonlight shining outside, you recognized the person.

"I w-wanted to tell you..."

Sinasabunutan nito ang buhok at walang tigil na humihikbi. Halos mawalan na ito ng boses at tila naghahabulan ang mga luhang tumutulo sa kanyang mga mata. Hawak ang isang pamilyar na panyong gusot-gusot dahil sa mahigpit na pagkakakuyom.

"I love you... I love you... d-don't do this to m—why do you have to leave m-me—!"

You covered your mouth and clutched your chest - your knees felt weak.

Bawat iyak at sigaw nito'y tila kutsilyong sumasaksak sa iyong puso. Bawat suntok sa sahig ay tila balang bumabaon sa iyong dibdib.

You walked towards him and engulf him in your arms.

With your endless tears and quievering voice, you finally told him. "M-Mahal kita, Pablo. Mahal kita. Mahal kita. Sobrang mahal kita..."

Isang bulong sa hangin ngunit palahaw ng puso.

At hindi ka magsasawang ulit-ulitin ang mga salitang iyon.