Eigengrau

One.

Darkness. That's all anything is now is just darkness. That's all the world is, just one big ball of darkness. In this utterly, screwed up world you have many different types of darkness.

There's the darkness when you're outside looking out at the stars. That's the nice, quiet, enjoyable darkness.

Then you have the darkness in your bedroom where you're trapped inside your head left with nothing but dreams. But dreams don't last forever, no. Eventually they fade into nightmares that begin to consume you. They can be so frightening they leave you panicking and screaming out into nothingness.... Nothing except darkness.

And finally there is the worst darkness of all.... Complete and utter darkness. Pitch black. The darkness that lies within your soul. The darkness that has overruled your entire life and existence. A darkness so deep, so controlling and demanding that it refuses you to ever see the light of day. So dark it will never let you feel a single bit of joy or happiness ever again.

Not only is the world is a gigantic ball of darkness, but so are the people in this world. And just like the darkness there are different types of people.

You have the people who always try to have a positive outlook on life; they're the great, big rays of sunshine. All they are are just people who are trying to get through it all without having to deal with all of the actual bullshit. They're the type of people who want to leave a mark on the world, and the people who wanted to be remembered when they're gone. To cut to it, no one is going to remember any of those types of people. Because whether it's 1 day from now or 1 million years from now no one is going to care who you are or what you did. You can never make everyone happy. Take an apple for example, yes people like them but there will always be one person who hates them, and that's just how life goes. Some people like you and some people don't, but in the end it doesn't matter who liked you and who didn't. None of it will matter.

Your life is your life and you get to live it however you please to. In this fucked up world, I believe that there are no such things as mistakes. Although they may not be the right thing at the time, they can form into something so much greater than you imagined. It's our mistakes that make us who we are. So technically it doesn't matter at all what you do because you never know how the world will react to it.

Some of us, unfortunately, had to learn the hard way.

Yes I know I sound like the most creepy and mysterious person ever who only views the world as an awful place, but before everything, I wasn't like this. I used to be one of those god awful rays of sunshine. A person who viewed things that no matter what the situation was, everything could still turn out good. What the hell was I thinking? The person I was before was fed a mouthful of lies.

To be perfectly honest, I'm glad I'm not the same person I was. I'm glad I've changed and discovered who I truly am. I'm not much but I know who I am.

Just another confused soul drifting along, in a lonely world.

Like I said, before I used to actually view things in a positive way. I used to actually have real feelings and emotions.

Then again, that was before everything happened.

It was before I was sucked into the complete, utter darkness and had no chance of survival. I had no chance to make my way back to the surface of this godforsaken abyss of darkness toppled with fear and emotion.

I knew once I was pulled in, I had no way of getting out....