The Girl Who Cheated

04: The Broken Faith

DID YOU KNOW that if a butterfly from China flapped its wings, it could cause a hurricane in New Mexico? This is how the term "Butterfly Effect" originated---a phenomenon where a small change in the present could produce a larger change in the future.

Hindi maiwasan ni Bella na isipin na baka ganito ang nangyayari ngayon. Ang pagdating ni Chase sa Pilipinas ay nagsilbing maliit na pagbabago sa kanyang buhay. Ang akala nila'y maliit na pagbabago at wala namang ganoong epekto sa kanila ay hindi nila alam na magdudulot ng malaking gulo. Little did they know that the wind produced by the flapping wings was Chase and that Chase was bound to become a hurricane; he was destined to cause a ruckus in Bella's life.

But the wind produced by the butterfly's wings was not enough to produce a hurricane at ganito rin naman ang pagdating ni Chase. Of course, Bella knew that there were external factors involved. It could be the quarrel with her boyfriend or the epic-failed anniversary surprise. It could also be Bella's trip to Baguio with Chase or their deep late-night conversation with each other. Kung anuman ang mga iyon, iyon ay dumagdag sa dapat na maliit na pagbabago na mararanasan ni Bella sa kanyang buhay, hanggang sa ito'y lumaki nang lumaki at magdulot ng isang gulo. Just like what's happening right now.

Nasa cafeteria silang tatlo noong lunch break na iyon; she, Chase, and Raymond. Lumipas na rin ang ilang araw at nagkaayos na sina Raymond at Bella, habang sila naman nila Chase at Bella ay hindi ganoon nagpapansinan magmula noong nangyari ang . . . Hay. Ayaw niya nang alalahanin iyon.

Mukha namang normal lang ang araw na iyon habang siya ay tahimik at nagpapanggap na nakikinig kay Raymond na nagra-rant tungkol sa mga kaklase niyang walang ginawa kung hindi i-memorize ang lesson kaya noong may pinapagawan sila ng essay as their activity ay panay tanong sa kanya. Si Chase naman ay abala sa pagkain ng kanyang hamburger habang pasimpleng tumitingin sa kanya. She knows that he's staring at her from time to time dahil ganoon din ang ginagawa niya.

"I just don't understand them," Raymond ranted. "Pinag-aaral sila ng magulang nila para matuto, hindi para ma-master ang art of memorization! Kung hindi rin nila iintindihin ang pinag-aaralan nila at ime-memorize lang ang mga term, e 'di sana hindi na sila pumasok dito sa eskwelahan at dumiretso nalang sa library para lumamon ng mga libro! Sayang lang pera ng mga magulang nila."

After ranting, uminom siya ng kanyang pineapple juice na binili niya kanina. Bella didn't know what to say so she didn't reply kahit na alam niyang nakatingin sa kanya ang kanyang nobyo, waiting for her insight about the topic.

"Tahimik ka na naman," Raymond told her as she held her hand. Hindi niya alam kung bakit but she removed her hand under his at pasimpleng ibinaba ito. She knew Raymond noticed it pero hindi niya na ito pinalaki pa. She looked at Chase only to find out that he was looking at them. "Are you okay?"

She forced a smile. "Ayos lang. Mukhang napagod lang ako sa classes ko kanina, but I'll be fine. Kailangan ko lang ng pahinga. Masyado kasing maraming ginagawa ngayon dahil nga malapit na exam. Sorry."

Raymond smiled and he kissed her on her scalp while pushing her head closer to his chest. "It's fine."

. . . but it's not. It was never fine. Iyon ang nasa isip ngayon ni Bella. Unti-unti na siyang nilalamon ng kanyang guilt. Hindi na dapat nangyari ang halik na iyon. Dahil sa halik na iyon, hindi na siya makatulog sa bawat gabi kaiisip kay Chase. Dahil sa halik na iyon, nagdududa na siya sa nararamdaman niya kay Raymond dahil unti-unti, may isang feeling sa kanyang puso na unti-unting nagbu-bloom. Mas malaki. Mas malakas.

"Raymond, nakalimutan ko sabihin sa iyo. May kailangan pa pala ako i-tutor ngayon. P'wede bang mauna na ako?" she asked. It wasn't obvious but at that moment, she was mad; mad at herself and mad at what's happening around her. She only wanted one thing, and that is love. She didn't want this kind of mess.