Secrets (Mattheo Riddle x Reader)

Im sorry

The others went on with their days, continuing with their weekend, the nurse snarled at anyone who stayed even a minute longer than the visiting limits, now they were all banned from the room. I spent the rest of the day doing nothing. Literally nothing. Usually taking a whole day to just sit around and sleep, was a dream come true for me, but in these conditions, I was bored out of my mind. I wanted to talk, but every bed was empty. I wanted to eat, but even if there was food, the pain would be so mind bending, I wouldn't be able to swallow.
Those death eaters need to start aiming away from my neck, they have no idea how much I love to eat. Sitting in the bed wasn't enough, I stood up and began snooping around the medical wing. Rows of beds, different potions, rotting children's body parts... I'm just kidding!
The medical bay was so depressingly boring, I decided I couldn't spend another second there. I checked for the nurse, who yes, I was grateful to for looking after me, I didn't like very much due to the way she spoke to my friends. She was no where to be seen, I walked out of the doors, and made my way through the campus of my school. I was originally planning to head to my dorm in case I might find Pans or one of my friends there, but while walking through a crowd of other students someone's hand squeezed my shoulder and I spun around, still a little jumpy from the day before.
"Hi." Theo said monotoned.
"Hey." I said.
"I heard what happened."
"How?"
"I live in the same dorm as the guys still, I just haven't been around lately." He informed me.
"Why is that?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"I have other friends." He laughed, a little relieved that I wasn't avoiding him or anything like that.
"Oh." I replied simply.
"Anyway, I never got to apologise for the whole 'claiming' thing. I know that was a real dick move. I'm sor-"
"No, don't apologise, it was a dick move, but I may have over reacted a bit, and I get that you were just joking right?"
"Um... yeah."
"Oh wow real convincing." I said sarcastically.
"Hey Nott!" I heard some random guy call for Theo.
"I gotta go, but I'll see you around?" He smiled at me. I nodded and returned his smile.
"Great." He winked before running off to join his mate. The wink didn't annoy me as much as it would have a few weeks ago, but to me, his apology sounded like he really meant it, so I didn't mind. I continued my journey to the dorm, when I had arrived it was empty. I looked around for a moment, then had an idea of where to go next, and once again, I was off.

~~~~~~~Mattheo POV~~~~~~~
I was alone in the dorm. There was no one else with me, I had asked them for privacy. They all respected that and left. I stood in front of the wardrobe, I stared at Tom's uniforms folded into piles, he's always been a lot neater than me, I've never cared about being tidy, Tom on the other hand, had always liked it when things were perfect. It was those little details that I always noticed about him. Suddenly, rage came over me. Tom was dead and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt completely and utterly powerless. I grunted as I grabbed things from the and began to rip them from the piles, throwing them onto the floor in anger. Making a mess everywhere. The wardrobe was empty, but I was still mad, mad at my father, mad at everyone, mad at myself.
I shoved the whole wardrobe and watched as it crashed to the ground.
"Hey! Hey! Mattheo! Stop!" I heard Y/n's voice say. I spun to see her, standing directly in front of me. She looked me straight in the eye and said,
"Stop, please." In a sad tone.
"NO! Y/N! IM NOT GONNA STOP!" I yelled at her, making her step back lightly.
"TOM'S DEAD! MY BROTHER."
"I know-" she chimes in, being interrupted by me.
"HE WAS 17! Y/N, 17!"
She nodded, sympathetically.
"WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" I added.
"IT'S OUR-NO! IT'S YOUR FAULT HES DEAD Y/N!" She looked at me, hurt, tears welling in her eyes.
"YOUR DUMB ASS GETTING CAUGHT.  YOUR ASS GETTING YOURSELF SHOT AT. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU!" I yelled, not knowing what I was saying. I stopped myself, I didn't mean any of it.
"I know." She said nodding, tears now streaming down her face. I looked down at her, shocked that she was agreeing with me.
"I know! It should have been me. It should have been me!" She repeated, beginning to cry out.
"I got caught, I DID! NOT HIM! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE. AND I WASN'T AND NOW HES GONE AND ITS MY FAULT." She rambled while sobbing. 
"IM SORRY! I'm sorry! I'm sorry.." she cried. Her voice wavering from her uneven breathing.
I stared at her, eyes wide. I began to shake my head. I pulled her into a hug, and squeezed tightly not ever wanting to let go. She was trembling uncontrollably. All my rage had disappeared, I couldn't help it, and I felt salty tears still down my cheek as well. Her arms wrapped around me, and she dug her head into my shoulder. We slowly fell to our knees, not letting each other go.
Everything fell silent, the only thing we could hear was one another's breathing. Once hers had slowed we pulled apart, staying close. We were only inches apart.
"It wasn't your fault, it wasn't either of ours fault. It was my fathers, if not Tom's choice."
She sniffled, not saying a word.
"Say it."
"What?" She asked quietly.
"Say it wasn't your fault."
"Why?"
"I need to know that you believe it."
"I do." She tried to reassure me nodding feebly.
"Say it." I ordered possessively.
"It wasn't my fault." She mumbled, looking down. I sighed, and wiped the last teardrop from her cheek with my thumb before holding her again.