Headless Morning

A Rude Awakening

I awoke to a pitch black room, the darkness was so thick that it could be sliced with a knife. What time was it? I didn't know, I just knew my body ached and my throat was dry and ached. It felt like I had been hit by a steam roller, how much had I drank the night before? Regardless, with great strain I rolled myself over and grabbed my phone to check the time. I mean after all it must still be late for it to be this dark in my room. However when I clicked on my phone, nothing. Not a sign of life that I was aware of. No lights or sound to be had that I could tell, though I thought it vibrated. I simply assumed it was the vibration of death where my phone battery died and laid back down, before in my hungover state I finally began to ask myself the obvious questions. Why had my eyes still not adjusted to the darkness? I went to rub them only to find out why. My head was missing. Now to most this would be horrifying, but see I'm a dullahan. This means my head is detachable from my body without causing harm to myself. Now based off the fact that I'm seeing darkness, I reasoned to myself that it must simply be under the covers, perhaps I took it off while undressing for bed last night again? So I ripped my covers off of me and searched my bed. No dice, well this was beginning to worry me. Where could I have left myself at last night? I searched my memories, but they were all hazy since I was pretty much too drunk to think straight. If I was gonna find myself I'd have to retrace my steps. This was going to be a real pain in the neck. First thing was first, I got out of bed to attempt to dress myself. Carefully I walked over to what I thought was my closet, walking blindly wasn't my best skill since I always hid that I was a dullahan. People never really liked our kind for some reason, thought we were scary. I wound up walking straight into my chair and sighed silently before realizing that I walked the opposite direction of my closet. Then I carefully turned around and made my way to my closet by keeping my arms out to feel for the wall and walking along side it.  I finqall6y made it to my closet and upon opening the door I very carefully slipped on whatever I managed to grab first, since I couldn't really see what I was putting on I just hoped it matched. It felt to me like I had put on a t-shirt and some shorts, though the color of which I had no idea at all. At the realization of how hard this day was going to be, I rubbed my neck with exasperation. For some reason the feeling someone rubbing the top layer of skin where my head separates from my neck always seems to calm me down. With that out of the way I started trying to think of what all I had done the night before again. I remembered that I had gone bar hopping with my friends. First we went to the Candy Barrel, funny place that. Why name a bar after candy? They don't have strippers either so it doesn't make since from that perspective. Then we went to the that place on fifth and main with the dancing dog. Man I cannot hold my alcohol can I? I was already drunk by the second place and we went to three diferent bars! Oh shit, what if I lost my head and someone took it? What if somehow my head is so far from my body that it's disconnected from me. "Ahhh what am I gonna do?" I screamed before realizing I both said and heard myself, so therefore my head was still connected to my consciousness, just apart from my body. I then kept thinking, before getting the bright idea to try wiggling my head to see if maybe I could get it to turn over or something and see a clue as to where it was at. Wherever it was it was soft and smelled. I then finally realized that I had taken my dirty bar hopping clothes and put them in the laundry basket the night before, and perhaps I drunkenly put my head in the basket as well. So I tried my best to follow the wall to my restroom, accidentally walking straight into my closed door in the process. Upon arriving at my restroom I looked around for my laundry basket, very nearly falling into my bathtub in the process I might add. Though it was worth it because w3hen I finally found the basket I took out a couple layers of clothes and finally saw my body staring down at me, I had found my head and with a relieved sigh I picked it up and hugged it tightly before plopping it onto my neck. "Damn... I need a coffee after all this excitement" I said to myself, thankful no one saw my embarrassing morning.