Please don't say you love me.

Heavy words are hard to take.

Alicia opened her eyes to someone knocking at her door. She'd taken the past 2 days off of work to hide the bruises on her arms until they fade. She got up and opened the door to Ethan. "I just came to check on you, you never take time off of work and I have the next couple of days off, I thought I could be off some assistance, completely in a friendly manner" he smiled holding a bag from the bakery. She looked at the man she deeply loved and opened the door to him letting him in. As he walked through to the living room he saw a duvet on the sofa "did I wake you up?" He asked "no" she smiled slightly moving it so he could sit down "have you been sleeping down here?" He asked she didn't say anything "I need to tell you something" she said tears in her eyes "do you want a drink?" She asked he looked at her sadness in his eyes "I'll make them, you sit down. Coffee?" He asked she nodded slightly and sat down on the sofa. Ethan stood in front of her and put the drinks down on the table. "Is this what you wanted to tell me?" He asked handing her a post it note she took it from him and read it tears welling in her eyes "Ethan, I didn't, this isn't what it looks like" she cried standing up "Ill go" he said "no please don't" she cried holding his arm he looked at her "I didn't mean to" she cried "you didn't mean to? How can you not mean to have sex with someone?!" He asked she just cried "I said no" she cried quietly Ethan looked shocked "I was drunk, I kept saying no. I didn't want to" she cried "I told you, I needed to tell you something" she cried he just held her hand carefully "Alicia" he said soothingly "I was so scared" she cried "here" he said holding out his arms slowly he didn't want to startle her, she was frightened, frightened for someone to hurt her again. "I'm sorry" she cried he just held her to his chest gently "this isn't your fault, have you reported it?" He asked she shook her head "nobody knows" she said sitting down again. Ethan sat down next to her "talk to me Alicia what happened? What did he do?" He asked "I... I" she started "it's okay, it's alright" he said she held his hand on the sofa "he came back here after we went out with Bea and rash" she said Ethan nodded and squeezed her hand "we went to sleep, he basically passed out, so did I" she said "when I woke up, he was on top of me" she cried "you've got bruises" Ethan said she tried to cover them up quickly "I said no Ethan, I kept saying no, I told him to stop I swear I did" she cried Ethan pushed her hair back and held her to his chest "it's going to be okay, it's alright" he said she just cried into his chest. "I'll come with you Alicia, to report it" he said she shook her head "report what?" She asked "Alicia if you said no, and he didn't stop, that's, that's rape" he almost cried tears falling down his face "no, no" she said standing up "I've made it sound worse than it is" she cried "no you haven't, you're traumatised, you've not been at work, you're emotionally not to mention physically hurt" he said she just froze "I was... I was raped" she cried kneeling to the floor Ethan bent down and held her close to him "we're going to sort this out" he said she cried hysterically into his shoulder. 

After 15 minutes on the floor Ethan finally got Alicia back onto the sofa.
"I can't be here Ethan, all I can see is him" she cried "alright, let's go and pack your things" he said "I haven't got anywhere to go" she cried "you're coming home with me, I'll set up my spare room and you can stay there for as long as you need" he said Alicia just held onto him. "You don't have to come back to this place until you're ready" he said she stood up slowly "I can't ask you to do that" she said "you're not asking, I'm telling you that I want you there, I want you with me" he said she nodded slowly "come on, I'll help you grab your things" he said she walked upstairs and packed her bags and Ethan put them in the car. I'll Lock this up and we can come back another day" he smiled she nodded holding his hand as he locked her door and put the keys in his pocket. He helped her into his car and they drove back to his. 

He opened the door and carried her bags upstairs and grabbed out some sheets and they made the bed "thank you" Alicia said standing in the corner of the room Ethan sat down on the bed "you need this report this Alicia" he said quietly she sat down next to him and sighed "I don't know if I want to" she said he held her hand and she held his back "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you, but what he did was so wrong, you need to talk to the police" he said she nodded "I will, but I just need a few days to wrap my mind around everything" she said he nodded putting his arm around her and rubbing her back "it's going to be okay" he smiled slightly she nodded and turned to look at him "thank you" she said resting her head on his shoulder. Alicia's stomach rumbled and Ethan smiled "hungry?" He asked "not really" she said quietly "Chinese?" He smiled slightly she cracked a small smile "I know you too well" he smiled standing up still holding her hand. They walked downstairs and ordered Chinese and sat on the sofa together watching a comedy. 

The food arrived and the pair ate and had a nice chilled out day together. Alicia had got up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she just looked at Ethan for a moment laying on the sofa. She walked over to him and he smiled and sat up. She sat down next to him wrapped her arms around his waist rested her head on his chest and cried. "Oh Alicia" he said rubbing her back holding onto her "I've got you" he said "I was raped" she cried "I know, I know" he said holding onto her. After a while Alicia calmed down and Ethan relaxed back putting his feet up again holding her to his side. She drifted off to sleep to Ethan stroking her hair. Ethan sat on his phone still playing with her hair with the other hand. There was a knock at the door an hour later and Ethan got up carefully covering Alicia over with a blanket on the sofa. He opened the door to Cal standing there "hi" he said about to walk in "Alicia's here, she's not very well, she's asleep on the sofa" Ethan said he smirked "ooh nice pull man" he smiled "Cal stop, she's not well she's not been working, I need you to go" he said "I just came for a coffee to see my brother" he said Alicia walked out to the hallway and Ethan smiled slightly "sorry I didn't mean to wake you" he said she shook her head "no, it's fine" she smiled slightly "I'll put the kettle on" she said Ethan let Cal in and then went to help Alicia. They walked through with cups of coffee and sat down on the sofa together again but this time further apart. 

After Cal left and they had drank their coffee Ethan put another film on and tried to make Alicia feel slightly more positive despite the devastating circumstances. "Thank you Ethan" she said quietly he put his arm around her back "one day, this won't hurt you anymore, one day it won't hurt" he said rubbing her arm she nodded and rested her head on his shoulder.