EGOIST (Sang Woo x Fem!OC) [COMPLETED]

33

Everything else feels emptier from here. His bedroom, his apartment. When Hae Young had left him, she left a gaping hole in his heart that he admits would take a while to heal again. And if not for a while, then maybe not at all.

Grey perhaps was not a great color for his place after all. It only amplified the dullness and loneliness that had been there for a long time, creeping in until it pushed her out. It was his fault that she left, there was no doubt in that, and there's no fixing it anymore either.

Hae Young was back in Gangwon, he was here wallowing in his own demise. Everything else in Joy Investments was falling apart, he just wished she was here.

There is no substitute to the surrealness of everything he felt in the last three years, no matter how much booze he drowned himself in, or how many cancer sticks he can smoke just to ease everything else. Nothing, nothing, not even the woman lying naked on his bed, which he remembers; she needs to leave soon.

Su-Bin turns on her side, facing him as she wakes. A smile graced her lips. "You're awake." she says, though he doesn't greet her. Instead he looks straight ahead, lost in his thoughts. The cigarette in his hands was burning though he did not smoke it. This is what his weekend mornings looked like. Miserable.

There was a sigh before she finally sat up on his bed, sheets falling gracefully around her waist though he did not even spare her a glance. She's not her.

"Another morning of giving me the cold shoulder?" She presses on, and he finally turns to acknowledge her.

"It's just one of those days."

Su-Bin just smirks. Yes, it's one of those days where he asks her to accompany him up to his room for a drink, and then the loneliness sets in. One thing turns to the other and she's in his bed once again. Yet, there is nothing there. He wonders if she'll ever understand that.

She just scrunches her nose at his nonchalance, finally standing from his bed to pick up the clothes littered on the floor and gets dressed. "You don't mind if I make myself breakfast, right?" She asks him.

Sang-Woo just shakes his head.

"Go ahead." He tells her, before getting up to dress himself.

She was rummaging through his cupboards.

"You hardly have any bread here." She clicks her tongue in wonder. "That sucks... I was craving toast."

"I don't eat bread in the morning."

She just hums in response, taking a granola bar from his pantry instead.

"This will do."

She unwraps it, taking a bite. Sang-Woo just stares at her as if he's anticipating something and she notices it.

"What?" She stares back. "Are you waiting for me to finally leave?"

Sang-Woo just shakes his head. "It's not that."

Liar.

"I'm thinking that maybe I should finally stock up on some bread."

You fucking coward.

Su-Bin smirks at the thought, finishing her last bite of the granola bar.

"I never really pegged you as a breakfast person, but alright." She tosses the wrapper into his trash bin. "Perhaps toast would be a good start for your breakfast routine."

She hated bread in the morning. She always said it makes her feel bloated.

He just nods once again. There was nothing else he could say or share, or ask from her. Even with her in his bed, his room; in his apartment, he was still empty.

"Alright, I guess I'll actually take this as my cue to leave..." She says, picking up her purse from the kitchen counter. They were silent for a while, though their pauses held different meanings. She was waiting for him to say something, he was just waiting for her to go.

"...Unless you had other plans in mind?"

He just gives her a tight-lipped smile. His brain was too empty to give a response or a good excuse. It was all nods or head shakes.

"Let's go grocery shopping together." She finally says. "Let's buy you some bread, alright?"

Sang-Woo just nods, the same hesitance withheld with his lips shut tight, hands in his pockets. There was nothing else to do, anyway. Might as well.

Su-Bin smiles, genuinely this time.

"Then give me some time to freshen up then I'll meet you back here."

"Alright."

She smiles once again, walking up to Sang-Woo. She reaches for his face as she closes in for a kiss on the lips, though he turns his head. Her lips land on the corner of his head instead. She pulls away with this expression on her face that made Sang-Woo relieved somehow. It wasn't disappointment, but confusion. Though it wasn't enough, she was getting there.

She leaves his apartment, he is still alone as ever. He takes the time to freshen up, clean up his apartment as he picks everything and places them in order. The sheets, his shoes, the things knocked off from his book shelf. After that, he was alone with his thoughts. He sits solemnly on his bed waiting for her to arrive so that they can go buy bread.

This is not what he wanted, but it's what he has. Everything was still there, and everything was still fresh, that even bringing another woman into his room did not replace the memories embedded into each and every corner. The reading nook at the corner of his bed, establishes specifically so that Hae Young could read on nights where she couldn't sleep. Then there was her spot on his bed, which he now took. And realizes why; it was cold and comfortable, and when he'd wake there every morning, he woke to the view of the city. But all these memories come with nothing but pain, where the fresh memory of Hae Young leaving was sewn into the good ones.

"Sang-Woo," He remembers her say his name with a tone that made him want to fall to his knees and beg her to sleep on her thoughts for the night--that tomorrow would be alot better. But he doesn't.

"I think we need some time apart."

He was just silent after that. They both were. Eventually, she gathered her things and left his apartment, and she didn't come back the next morning to talk things through. Until eventually, she didn't come back at all. It was only then he'd receive a phone call from her one night crying, asking for some of the things she'd left in his apartment back. He thought that it was the end, but then she tells him about her father in Gangwon. And then it really was the end.

She left a week after that. He thought about seeing her off, but he didn't. He couldn't. He thought about what difference it would have made to watch her board that train, perhaps hug her. What difference would it have made if he could have been there for her one last time?

Everything.

Right, everything.

What a fucking idiot.

He sighs. There's nothing he can do about it anymore, when the knocking on the door finally pulls him back to his dull, dull reality; of unwanted guests and bread shopping. It only gets emptier from here.