Please love me more than I hate myself||Hyunchan ff

1

Hyunjin had a perfect childhood, perfect parents, perfect siblings, perfect looks, perfect friends, perfect, perfect, perfect...
That until the day his parents decided to get divorced...

Hyunjin POV
„Hyunjin? Do you have your stuff? After school were going to dad's right away." I heard Changbin my older brother shouting for me.
Two weeks ago my parents got divorced and my father moved out. Me and my other brothers are living with our mom but my parents decided we would go to my dads house every two weeks for four days.
It hurt me more than I would show them, that my dad moved out. But I have to pretend I'm totally fine with it, cause my mother is always so proud of me, for being her precious and adorable son.

I grabbed my back for school and the one for my fathers. Then I went down were everybody was sitting at the table to have breakfast. I joined them and started eating.

We finished breakfast and went to the bus station to go to school. Jeongin was really tired this morning and dawdled a lot so we nearly missed the bus but luckily the bus was also late. It stopped right in front of us and we got inside.
I sat down alone. Changbin was sitting with his friends Chan and Minho and Jeongin was sitting with some of his friends I don't know their names. I took my earphones out and turned the volume up and soon the voice from Yungblud was screaming into my ears cause I'm just a fleabag nobody loves me, sent ne to rehab...
My phone vibrated, I saw a message on my display. As soon as I read the name, my heart stopped beating for a second.
Simon
He is my boyfriend, and I should love him, but I can't. I'm too afraid of him. I opened the message:
Hey you little slut I want you at my place tonight come at 8. No excuses, I expect you to be on time.
That's it, that's the message. No I love you or take care, no. Not from him, he wasn't that type of person who actually cared for the people around him.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched. I hated when people touch me out of a sudden.
Changbin indicated me to take my headphones out cause we were at school. I did and followed him outside and into the school building.
Felix and Seungmin were already at my locker waiting for me.
„Hyunjinnie!" Felix said enthusiastically and stormed towards me to give me a hug. I had to smile, this ball of sunshine always makes me happy, what a cutie. My brother should be really grateful to have him as a boyfriend. When Felix finally let go of me I greeted Seungmin and we went to our first class.
School was out faster than I thought and I met my brothers outside. We all said goodbye to our friends, as a dark car held infront of us. My dad. I don't hate him, but neither do I love him. We always had a difficult relationship. Changbin sat down in the front seat and me and Jeongin in the back. I decided that it was best to speak up now.
„Ehm, I won't be able to eat with you tonight, I'm at Simons." I stated and directly got a disappointed look from my father, but instead of saying something against it, he just nodded in response. I don't know if I would have preferred him to stop me or not. I don't want to go to Simon, he had changed. The last time I was there, he wanted to sleep with me but I refused. I'm not ready to have my first time, but he didn't seem to understand. He is two years older but luckily I got away last time...
We arrived at my dads new house. It was our first time here and Jeongin was exited to see the house, I wasn't. We entered and dad showed us our room, yes our room. We would share it since the house was too small for three kids.
I laid down on the bed, Jeongin started doing homework and Changbin helped him.

7 o'clock
I must have fallen asleep. I stood up and rushed into the bathroom. If I had to be at Simons in an hour I had to hurry. I needed to take a shower since Simon always got angry when I wouldn't shower right before we met. I didn't once and he had said things I never wanted to hear again.
So I took a shower got dressed, intentional I was wearing long pants and a big hoodie.
I got to the door and wanted to leave, but Changbin stopped me.
„Hey Innie?" he only uses this nickname when he is worried
„Is everything okay? If anything is up, you can talk to me." I just nodded, I didn't expect him to be so caring.
„Please be careful."
I nodded again and left.
I took the bus and arrived at Simons place on time. He was living alone, in a big and luxury house. I knocked and waited. Soon the door got opened and I saw Simon. He was standing there, tall, muscular, really handsome. Everybody would love to have him as a boyfriend. But not me.
„Hey you little, come inside." he takes me upstairs to his room. I'm frightened. I don't know what to do. I feel like something really bad is going to happen and I'm not ready for that. But it seems that he just wants to watch a movie. He even asks me what I want to see.
„Ehm, what do you think about ehm... Iron Man?" I'm a huge fan of the Marvel movies and series. To my surprise, he started the movie.
Everything seemed to be ok but after some time, Simon got closer. He soon put his arm around my shoulder and his other hand rested on my leg. I flinched at his sudden touch, but he ignored my unwell being. He just continued to move his hand up my thigh.
I tensed up and then he whispered
„Hey,hey relax a bit, we're just going to have some fun..."
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Hii
The first chapter, I hope you like it.
C🌻