Pressure (Kousuke x Shin-Ae One Shot)

Building

I stared at my reflection. Was I shaking? I could scarcely feel it. I could scarcely feel anything at all these days. But this rage, I could feel. When I thought of my perfectly calculated life that was interrupted—no, destroyed by that bastard Nol... It seemed no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be free of him. I was beginning to see him in Miss Yoo.

Dammit...

I was on edge constantly. I could feel something inside me, just below the surface of my skin. Something that was clawing to get out. It'd been building for a long while. To be perfectly honest, it scared me. I didn't know how to satiate it. I had tried a few things here and there. I had tried that night Hansuke and Yujing dragged me dancing. It felt good to let loose a little. But I knew better. Bad things happen when I didn't control myself. And going out drinking and dancing was not something a CFO did anyway. I didn't get luxuries like that.

This is what I want.

There were other things I wanted. Other things that I could not have. I'd long since dismissed my ridiculous fixation with Miss Yoo. She was my assistant for Christ's sake. Sure, my mind had wandered where it probably shouldn't have a time or two... or three. I was a man. And she was a beautiful young woman. It was only natural. However, I was a man who valued professionalism and poise. Yet, somehow, I kept finding excuses to be around her. To drive her here or there. To eat with her. To dress her in the things I wished I could take off her and...

Jesus Christ, Kousuke, get a grip.

I would not jeopardize the future I'd worked so hard for. Not for her. Not for Nol. Not for anyone. And if Nol thought he could surpass me by suddenly pretending to give a shit about the company, he was wrong. He had asked me what would be left for me to do if I hadn't gotten the position. As if I were the one with little prospects. As if I were the one on trial for assault. I refused to let him drag me down with him now, just as I always had.

I took a breath in.

Nobody gets it.

I blew it out, hoping to cleanse myself of some of the tension. It didn't work.

Nobody understands.

I was irritated by the things people had said. "You ought to be careful with the way you treat him, he's not the same meek kid as before." Bullshit. "He's picking things up pretty fast, he'll catch up to you in no time." There wasn't a chance in hell.

I took inventory of my surroundings. A leaky sink. Dirty tile. What was I even doing in this dilapidated arcade? Pathetic. How low would I stoop to spend time with her? This needed to end.

The stress was palpable in my shoulders as I pushed myself away from the bathroom counter. I made my way toward the exit. I needed to get home. I needed to get back to focusing on my future. More importantly, I needed to calm the hell down. What was wrong with me? I didn't like feeling so out of control.

I would simply excuse myself, and hopefully, Miss Yoo would be able to take the bus home. I knew I should insist on giving her the ride home I'd initially offered, it would be the gentlemanly thing to do, but I really needed to put some distance between the two of us.

I heard them before I saw them.

"Umm... how much did you spend?"

"I dunno. Fifty dollars maybe? Does it matter? This thing costs more than that, just look at the quality!" Nol's friend Soushi was holding up some sort of stuffed toy.

"Soushi quit lying to yourself..." That was Dieter, another one of Nol's companions. By him stood Miss Yoo, wearing her ridiculous, unprofessional jacket, covering the clothes I'd bought her. She stood close to Dieter, seemingly enjoying the conversation. She smiled at him. She looked happier speaking with Dieter than she had all night with me. And for some reason, it pissed me off.