Ahsoka's POV
"They're asking you back Ahsoka... I'm asking you back." Anakin looks at me pleadingly as he holds my Padawan necklace out to me. I look into his eyes and see so much more in them than what he just told me. In them you can see desperation, anger, even a little fear. I have to smile a little at this fact, even though it is actually a serious situation. I never thought I would see Anakin Skywalker, my fearless master, ever feel an emotion like anxiety or insecurity. But I see one thing above all in his blue eyes: hope.
I hesitate. The Council, my family have taken so much from me. They didn't trust me, didn't listen to me once. They betrayed me, and I'd be lying if I said I forgave them. I run their apologies through my mind again and notice that many of them actually manage to apologize in a way without admitting guilt themselves. I feel another wave of anger and disappointment and now stare at my padawan chain, which is in my master's hand.It is strange that my entire future now depends on whether or not I grab that damn braid
I look Anakin in the eye again and all the anger and disappointment is displaced by a warm pleasant feeling. Anakin, my master, my big brother, believed in me. He trusted me and ultimately saved me from certain death. I am sure that the Senate would not have hesitated to sentence me to death. And Anakin wasn't the only one, because I'm sure Rex and the other guys believed in my innocence too. At least I hope they did. I reach out my hand toward the Padawan chain and I can feel Anakin's relief when I finally grab it.
He smiles at me and I do the same.
For the first time I look the members of the council in the eyes and also there I see relief, but something else or rather I don't see it: guilt. And immediately I regret my decision a little and decide to look at my master again. "We are glad you made the right decision," says Master Windu and this sentence makes me cringe. How dare he say that it would have been wrong of me to leave the Jedi Order! Anakin and the other Jedi give him a scathing look, but I decide not to respond and ignore him. "I would like to go to my quarters now, Master," I finally say. Anakin nods at me in understanding and I head toward the quarters.
Once there, I lie down on my bed for the first time and try to relax. I haven't slept a wink in the last few days, and all I really want to do is sleep, but I can't help thinking about all that has happened. I know I can't stay mad at the Jedirate forever (except maybe Windu), but I'm sure it will take a long time to rebuild trust with the council I once called my family. I close my eyes, take a long exhale, and feel a tear run down my cheek. I start to cry. All the effort, anger, fear, uncertainty and disappointment falls away from me. And so I lie there. I may have decided to come back, and the Council probably sees these last few days as complete, but I'm broken, and I can only hope that Anakin, Rex, Padmé, and everyone else I can still call family will find every part again and rebuild me. Piece by piece...
