Spoiler Paradox (High school series 1)

Chapter 24

I gripped the steering wheel hard as my hands starts to tremble.

In fear? No.

In anger? No.

But in guilt and sorrow.

"Bakit siya pa nakakuha sa position na 'yon?"

"Ewan ko rin ba kay Ms. Garcia. Pabor na pabor talaga sakaniya si Fayre."

"Napakadaya naman."

"Sa totoo lang, hindi niya deserve 'yan e."

"True. Writer lang siya pero wala siyang degree."

"Akalain mo. Within 2 years nakuha niya 'yon?"

"May kapit nga kasi."

"Napaka unfair talaga."

That was the conversation I heard that led me as fast as I could inside my car. I felt betrayed and guilty at the same time. Akala ko tanggap nila. They are all smiles when they greeted my promotion, they said I deserve that position.

As much as I wanted to feel angry with them, I just can't. Hindi ko rin naman sila masisisi na gano'n ang tingin nila. I knew in the first place that this is seem unfair to them. Sa mga matagal na sa kumpanya. However, Ms. Garcia convinced me and I thought that was enough reason to go with it.

I should've known better. Hindi naman talaga para sa'kin yun e. Pinilit ko lang, pinilit lang ako. I know I'm not deserving, pero pinipilit ko na maging deserving. I already enrolled and took classes already para lang hindi makaramdam ng guilt.

And after I heard my officemates conversation. Parang hindi ko na alam kung paano sila patutunguhan, kung paano ako haharap sa kanila. I feel ashamed and naguguilty. At kung paano ko na ihahandle ang position na 'yon ng tama.

My heart aches in sorrow, but I can't exactly pinpoint what's the exact reason. As I search for a reason, another feeling will pop up. Frustration and being anxious. My heart feels heavy, and empty simultaneously.

They were right. And I don't know what to do about it.

"Alam mo ba. Pinagalitan kanina si Enzo."

Napakunot naman agad ang noo ko sa kaniya. "Bakit?"

"Yung manager kasi ng Koreano na napili sa character na gaganap, quenestion siya. Bakit daw hindi pa nagsisimula ang taping? Nasasayang daw yung oras nila. Tapos yung production naman tinatanong kung nakuha na ang approval mo," she explained.

I squint my eyes at her as she continues to slice the steak. "Why are you telling me these?"

She half-shrugs while still chewing. "Mahal mo pa ba?"

Napahinto ako saglit sa paghiwa at napakurap. "Hindi na," I replied in monotonous tone.

"Then pumayag ka na."

The crease on my forehead gets deeper. Confused and dumbfounded at her remarks. "Sabi mo don't give what he wants!" I reminded her. She's the one who advised me that, seems like she and Enzo got into an accident and forgets everything.

"Nakakaawa kasi yung itsura niya kanina," aniya at pinunasan ng dahan dahan ang kaniyang bibig ng table cloth.

"Hindi ikaw 'yan," I shake my head. Fascinated by the sudden changes in her attitude.

She clears her throat. "Baka gusto lang talaga ni Enzo na igrant ang dreams mo. Parang ano lang... utang na loob?"

Napataas ang isa kong kilay. I didn't look up to her at nagtuloy lang sa pagkain.