amor vincit omnia | twd | negan x reader ( slow burn )

1.

Before everything, the walkers, the screaming, the gunfires I was such a righteous self. Always sacrificing myself before anyone other. I did that because I sensed that I wanted, no I needed to be like the sun in peoples lives. What I mean by that is without the sun you would be plunged into the shadows. The darkness can come in the shape of a mother with her arms that slither and wrap around your shoulders to pull you into a hug. She will comfort you but she will also smother you with grim thoughts. So if I were to be the light people need me to be then I can make the dark cower with its tail under its legs. To put it simply, whatever shadows come your way remember that there is light. 

I have been moving around a lot because that is rule one in my guide to keep on moving. Preferably in some kind of vehicle. 

Flashback 

I remember riding on Black Bess through a field graced with bonny lavender. It was as if the aroma of the lavender was harmonising sweet symphonies uninterrupted into my mind. My eyes were dazy. My eyes ached to shut close. It was until the horse began manically whinnying that caught my attention once again. There happened to be walkers in the field with us. They had been laying beneath us on the plain.  

 Shit". I attempted to get a hold of the metal halters but the walkers were sinking their teeth into the horse's ankles. There was genuine empathy confined in the Black Bess' eyes. That she had accepted her fate. That it was okay to let go for my own protection. I saw it. I could see it in her eyes. With each mouthful the walkers took, a fearful yet courageous neigh resounded the lavender fields. So I wobbled around as I stood on Black Bess, to get a bigger view of my surroundings to find a clear path. But there wasn't a clear path. There were hoards of walkers. All congregating around the suffering horse. 

I needed to get off Black Bess before she falls to the ground. I thought, trying not to let panic overrule me. But how. There are walkers in every direction. If I were to just run amongst them they will certainly grab me. I can't run fast even if I tried. I am not Usain bolt. It felt that I had no lungs for air to circulate into. My legs began to feel heavy. The tension in my muscles was becoming too much. My hand quivered, wandered as I touched my legs and arms. It had me unsteady on my feet. I wonder potentially if this lavender field was going to be my deathbed. It's a pretty way to go except minus the walkers pulling and feasting on every organ in my body till there was nothing left. 

Black Bess' body began to tremble on the verge of collapsing onto the ground. I needed to do something. Anything.

Under the flickering moonlight, with swarms of zombies and fireflies, all grasping a sense of living, with a thud what was left of the horse, I fell into the lavender flowers. Before I could scream, the sound of ricochet firing amongst blood and walkers dropped into the lavender. 

In the shadows was a figure.