The Darkness Within

The Ashole

I sat in my room with tears in my eyes  . He did it again. He cut the call to talk to another bitch. Can it be that he is cheating on me? I thought to myself. Just the thought of the possibility made my heart shatter even more. Me and Damien have been dating for over a month now, and things were going good. Until this weekend when we had a massive fight about him visiting other girls.

Since then things have been sketchy between us. He would ignore me for hours on end and only contact me when he needed some validation. And of course my stupid in love ass would give it to him in fear that I might lose him. I really didn't want that. I wanted to try everything to keep him happy and keep him from leaving.

But tonight I was crying because he was an ashole again, and i didn't know what to do. I lost my best friend lately too. So no advise coming from her side. I just hope I can get through this without having another mental breakdown. I've already had 5 this week.

The thoughts kept running through my brain. It was like 15 trains on 3 tracks all nearly missing each other to avoid a catastrophic collision from happening. But I was spiraling. Slowly losing myself to the darkness I have inside me . The darkness that kept me safe from heartbreak. 

My train of thoughts were broken by my phone vibrating , signaling that I had a message.  With shaky hands I picked up my phone and used my finger print scanner to unlock it  . I went into my WhatsApp and saw it was from my only friend I had left ,Antonio . He was the only person I could trust with my secrets , meaning my darkness , since he is the only person that knows how I feel .

See Antonio is a psychopath of the highest grade , he thrives from peoples fear of him and he certainly knew how to embed it into them . He knew how to kill a person without leaving any trace or any evidence.  And he did it without a gun .

Antonio was the type of person who would get paid to kill a person  . And he did it very well too . His kills are slways smooth and efficient , and he always gets the job done .

But in spite of all of this he was a really good friend and I knew that I trusted him . I trusted him with my life , even though he takes people's lives as a hobby .

Antonio
Hey Nicola . I just wanted to ask if you are doing ok .

How did he know something is wrong ? Is he psychic too now?

Nicola
Yes . Im fine . Thanks for asking .

I wasn't in the mood to tell the truth at this moment.  I didn't want him to know I'm having episodes again .

Antonio
Bullshit.  I know something is wrong . You can talk to me blondie .

Oh how I hated that nickname  . Purely for the fact that I'm not even blonde  . My hair is brown .

Nicola
For the last time Tony . Im not blonde . And yes something is wrong , but how the hell you know that only you would know .

I laughed . I was now using a nickname I knew that he hated . Payback is a bitch

Antonio
I'm going to forget you called me Tony again just because you are in a bad mood . But please stop calling me that .

I giggled slightly at his response,, only because its pure pleasure watching a guy beg for something .

Nicola
Alright . Back to the problem at hand then . Im having relationship problems . And I'm having problems dealing with it . My psychotic episodes are returning full swing and I'm kinda losing my mind .

I knew I could trust Antonio with all my problems.  Thats why I found it so easy to open up to him .

Antonio
Just calm down  Princesa .  Everything will be ok . But I think you need to find a way to let go of your darkness. 

I didn't really know what he meant by that but I knew that he could help me .

Nicola
What do you suggest I do then ? Because I don't know what to do

Antonio
You are more than welcome to join my business  . It really helps keeping the darkness at bay when you release it fron time to time  .

Holy shit . Was I really considering this offer? Did I really want to kill people?

Nicla
When do I start ?