Embers in the Dark

Is This How It Ends?

Songs are, "Moonlight Sonata" and "Symphony No. 5" written by Beethoven and performed by Hidden Citizens.

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Darach ar an gCnoc, Moycullen, Ireland, Summer of 1901

The first two days after Lilly left, Arthur felt fine.  He spent the whole day working on the farm and getting ready for the renters.  Keeping himself busy was helpful to take his mind off things.

Still, his mind wandered.  Mostly he would replay in his head over and over the memory of watching Lilly disappear into the night.  For some odd reason, it didn't bother Arthur that she was gone and that worried him. 

Had he fallen out of love with Lilly?  Had it gotten so bad between them that he really didn't care that she left?  After everything they'd been through together, Arthur thought he might have a bit more respect for the love of his life to at least mourn the broken ties between them.

And yet he felt...nothing.

The next two days went just about the same, Arthur once again working on the farm.  Other than telling people what to do, he didn't really speak to anyone casually, even though plenty of people tried to speak to him about what happened, but he was having none of that.  He simply replied, "I'm workin'."

And still, Arthur felt nothing when he thought about Lilly.

By the fifth day, all the renters came in droves with not only their payments, but gifts for Lilly and Arthur due to their heroic deeds all over Ireland, Scotland and England.  Hosea and Dutch had a special treat for the renters that night by setting up a fighting ring and having people bet on Failinis, Brian and James as they sparred.  Arthur enjoyed watching it, but he kept thinking about how much greater it would've been if Lilly were there to watch it as well.

After the festivities and the renters left, Arthur decided to make it an even later night and go over the ledger in his own personal study.  By the time he had drained more than half the bottle of bourbon, however, he lost interest in the task of making sure there weren't any discrepancies.  Arthur laid his head and arms on the desk as he examined his empty glass, watching the colors dance while he moved it around.

"I wonder what Lilly's doin' right now," he thought.

"Probably fucking another man," a voice in his head said.  "She's better off without you."

Arthur lifted his head with a growl.  "Shut up," he said out loud.

"Come to think of it, you're better off without her too."

"Enough!" Arthur hissed loudly.

The voice laughed in his mind.  "You know it's true.  Why else would I be saying it?"

"I said enough!" The Earl of Moycullen shouted as he stood, knocking his desk over with his bare hands.  "I'm done with these thoughts you keep puttin' in my head!"

"Are you?" the voice asked in a smug tone.  "Then get rid of me.  Oh wait, that's right, you can't."

Arthur growled as he walked towards his study door.  "Fuck you, whoever you are."

"Touchy touchy."

Arthur opened the door and slammed it shut behind him before walking down the hall towards the stairs, grumbling to himself.  "Just leave me alone," he mumbled.

"Where's the fun in that?" the voice in Arthur's head joked.

The tired, drunk man ignored the cackling in his head as he trudged up the stairs.  The laughing got louder and louder, drowning out Arthur's barely held together sanity.  He clumsily rushed up the stairs, shaking his head to try and clear it, but it wasn't working.  The voice just kept on laughing.  While he kept bumping into walls, Arthur would grunt and groan in frustration.  He felt like he was going insane.  Without looking, he grabbed onto the handle of a door and opened it, stumbling into the room...and Arthur instantly regretted it when he saw what room he was in.