Thoughts And Things I Wanna Share

Lone Wolf

This may seem odd, but sometimes I feel I've lost the feeling of longing to make friends. All my life I've always been shy and awkward to talk to people. I only was fortunate to make friends because they came to me. There was only the 1 time in 4th grade where I was the one who made the first move in making a friend. But that's for a different time.

One thing I've never understood was when people talked during class. For me it was and still is an odd concept. People really have that longing of talking to someone, to the point where they cause a disruption? The conversation really couldn't have waited till later? What exactly gives them that feeling of 'I really need to talk to this person' it just makes no sense to me. If you happen to stumble upon this book and are reading it, I'm probably not making much sense.

I don't know. I have friends and I love them and love talking to them, but if I had to narrow it down I'd say I'd rather be alone. Maybe that's why I don't like group projects. Why I'd prefer to play dogdeball  Hunger Games style. Maybe that's the reason why I like the side characters more than the main ones.

Honestly, I feel that ever since I moved, I've felt the urge to be alone expand exponentially.

I mean, I've moved away to a different state away from everything I'm familiar with, never even getting a chance to get together with my friends I'm comfortable with, heck I didn't even get a chance to tell some of them that I was moving.

Naturally, my shell will come back up and I'll hide away. The only one I can trust is me.

That shell prevents me from making friends and socializing, driving me to one point in time where I will lose all motives of talking to anybody. At all. At least that's how I feel.

(For some context I moved to a different state 2-3 months ago. But I guess you figured that out by now.)