ellie's dream

Day 1~ October

Dear Journal,

Ya know what I don't even know how to start this- well hi, I'm Ellie, Ellie Garrett. I guess this journal will be a good use for tracking my weight, but I guess I can share my feelings in here too. Basically, I want to be a model- but not just any model, I want to be a plus-sized model. They are just so pretty and confident and don't have to worry about maintaining a tiny figure 🥰. Me on the other hand... I am built like a STICK, and don't get me wrong I love all body types! It just doesn't suit me, and I know that I have to do something about it. I honestly am not quite sure what my goal weight is, but my dream weight would probably be around 300 pounds... maybe even 400! But for now, I gotta stay under the radar because if my best friend Maddy finds out I want to gorge myself every night until I get there, yeah she will tell EVERYBODY and I cannot let that happen 😐. Of course she is my roommate though, so that will definitely make things harder. I'm gonna have to come up with a lot of excuses, because I'm not gonna let her hold me back from my dreams. I'm so excited for Halloween because that's the one time of the year I can eat all of the junk food I want and- wait... YES 🤯! That's the perfect excuse! I can just tell her I packed on a few pounds from the trick-or-treat candy I bought! I'm starting my gaining journey tomorrow, sooo... here is my schedule: 7:00 pancakes, bacon, and eggs, 8:00 go to cafe w/ Collin, 9:00-11:00 snack on candy and chips, 12:00 big hearty lunch w/ Tasha at the burger shop, 2:00-4:00 eat leftovers and snooze, 5:00 eat at the salad bar w/ Maddy 😬, 7:00pm eat at the fancy buffet 😋, 9:00pm eat the leftover cake. Yeah after all of that I will be FULL, but I should gain an ideal amount of weight after, and none of my friends, especially Maddy, should be too suspicious of me if I'm gone most of the day. I'm so excited so I'll update tomorrow! 😅

Current weight: 110lbs