Will ever get over you? (Wesley stromberg)

Pray for peace

Mariahs p.o.v
I hated it. I hate the way some people look at me. The way they judge me. The way I always feel like it's never going to be good enough. I try so hard. I have a lot of friends. A few know my past. But none of them know just exactly how bad it was. They wouldn't understand. Once people say it enough you believe it. I never felt beautiful. Make-up was a necessity. I never once felt good about myself. I guess that's why they call it depression right? Because it makes you feel horrible about yourself? Because all you ever feel is sadness? Is that how it's going to be for the rest of my life? Alone? Helpless? Depressed?

I never felt like anyone liked me. I always was reading hell I'm even right now. Music pumping through my headphones. To the people who I personally voted for on the X Factor. The people who made it possible for me to feel. I voted for them everyday. Emblem3 they made me feel like it was possible. Anything is possible. When Drew left I cried. It's been almost a year and when I found out Wesley decided to take a few weeks off to get away I felt like he too would leave and not be back. Just like how zayn left one direction. But I also felt like he wouldn't. That he would be back. To live his dream. To help his fans and keep himself and others happy. He understood things in a way no one else could. He made me happy. There was never a day I didn't think about what it would be like from his point of view on things or how he felt about his experiences. What it was like to be adored by so many people. Or have that sense of love around them. It made me feel something inside when I thought about all the people who loved them. It's something I want to feel.. Love something I've never experienced. I've never been in anything even close to a relationship. I've never been kissed. As the bell rings from my class I quickly exit and go outside. I spend a lot of time outside these days. That what smoking does to you. My pack of Canadian classics in hand I pull out a cigarette and spark it. I inhale the sweet flavour and exhale it out of my already messed lungs. I started smoking when I was 13 now I'm just about 16 a few more months. Then just one year until I'm a senior. They say high school shapes you for your future. But the truth? Your past shapes you for your future. All of my best memories happened in a schools smokers pit (a.k.a The Pit). How could I cope when the people that made me happy were separated. As I get down to half a smoke the principal comes out. "Mariah, finish your smoke then my office." I don't even know what I did, I'm a relatively good kid, I help everyone so it's unusual fir me to get called to the office. I finish my smoke and go inside to the office to be treated by my mom and someone else. " Mariah, this is Mark he works with The X Factors Emblem3 and they're looking to recruit a few people to help the boys out with things and the provide support for fans when they break down at concerts and to help reply to depressing emails. When they emailed us as a selected school to look for a recruitment member we instantly thought of you, we then contacted your mom who had agreed, you will be leaving as soon as possible your remaining schoolwork will be online. I will leave you three so mark can talk to you about things." I thank Donovan as he leaves. I sit down and mark speaks "so as a member you will be assigned a member of emblem3 but more or less they pick out of the three of you who will be with who, Wesley has expressed his wishes thoroughly that you will be with him, in my opinion he is attracted to you. You will be leaving on the jet to Hawaii to meet up with Wesley on his vacation and to help him reply to some emails and facebook messages as the other girls go to the other two. So if your ready we can leave." I nod not saying anything I cry saying goodbye to my mom and then mark speaks up " I will be carrying four cartons of smokes for you through security and the airports as well then when wes picks you up I will be off to pick up another student." I say a teary goodbye and wave as we leave and head to the airport when we take off I'm a bit nervous. Then I get a text.
Mariah, it's wes, I hope you have a good trip and I'll see you in four hours, thank you so much for agreeing to help me beautiful. Management has sent your first pay through to your account for the emotional experience. It's just to help you feel more comfortable and when we start working your actual pay will be in, in a couple of weeks.
Have a safe trip gorgeous xxx

Wes, thank you I appreciate it, I'm gonna nap I'll text you when I wake up. Btw thanks for the compliments, but your gonna have to try a bit harder Hun xx

Mariah, I accept that challenge babe.