I Know How to Love You: Lewi Morgan

Chapter 4

"Hello Nashville!" Jake shouted through the mic and the crowd cheered. "For those of you who don't know who we are, we're Rixton!" After he said that, the crowd clapped and cheered and there was loads of screaming.
They boys started singing Speakerphone, one of my favourites.

•••

"This next song is called Hotel Ceiling and it was written by Lewi." Jake said. I never knew Lewi wrote this song. I never even knew this song existed.

"I can see it coming round full circle my friend.
On the TV they said they had reported you dead.
It was my fault 'cause I could've sworn that you said,
It was easy to find another for your bed.

How does it feel to leave me this way,
When all that you have's been lost in a day?
Everyone knows, but not what to say.
I've been wonderin' now.

I've been staring at the hotel ceiling,
Drinking everything I've found this evening,
Trying to hold onto the sweetest feeling,
So I'll never let you go, don't you leave me lonely.
Start to see this, everyone I know cannot believe this.
Trying to hold onto the sweetest feeling,
So I'll never let you go, don't you leave me lonely now.

When my eyes open, morning pulls me into the view, no
I guess I'm only acting in the way that you do.
Just being alone, no.
Only time tells me more than I hoped, all that I know is
I'll be fine in a fortnight, lo and behold,
I knew I shouldn't have let you go.

I've been staring at the hotel ceiling,
Drinking everything I've found this evening,
Trying to hold onto the sweetest feeling,
So I'll never let you go, don't you leave me lonely.
Start to see this, everyone I know cannot believe this.
Trying to hold onto the sweetest feeling,
So I'll never let you go, don't you leave me lonely now.

I can see it coming round full circle, my friend.
On the TV they said they had reported you dead." Jake finished singing and the crowd cheered like crazy.

"Okay, this is our drummer Lewi." Jake said which made me laugh a little. "He has something he wants to say." Jake gave the microphone to Lewi.
"Hello Nashville!" He said and the crowd cheered. "I have something very special to do tonight. Please welcome my beautiful girlfriend, Leah!"

He wanted me out on stage? Like, out there? Shit.

I walked out onto the stage and the crowd roared which bought a smile to my face. Lewi held out his hand and I took it.
"So, it's been a year since we started dating and I think we're both ready..."

My mind went blank. I couldn't hear a word he was saying. I just stared at him expressionless.
He pulled out a box from his pocket and knelt down in one knee.
No. This can't be happening. Not right now. I really am not ready.

"Leah, will you marry me?" He said through the mic. The crowd was clapping and cheering. I couldn't say no. Not in front of thousands and thousands of people.
"I will." I said forcing a smile. I didn't realise I was crying until tears escaped my eyes. But I don't know why I was crying. I heard more cheers and claps and I looked at Lewi. He placed the most beautiful ring on my finger and hugged me. I hugged him back not knowing what to do. He pulled away and kissed me with full force for a while.
"I love you so much princess." He said kissing me once more.
"I love you too." I replied and walked off the stage admiring my ring.

I ran straight to Lewi's dressing room and locked the door behind me. I slid down the door and let all my tears out. Was I crying because this was a happy moment? Or was I crying because this was a sad moment? I should be happy but I'm not. I'm not ready to get married yet, I'm not ready to be a wife and I'm certainly not ready to be a mother. But they're all the things Lewi wants. He wants to get married, he wants to be a husband and he wants to be a father.

But I couldn't let him down. He looked so sure of this and it would break his heart if I had said no. It would break his heart if he knew how I actually felt.

What do I do now?