Author notes: This is a work of fiction. AU and OOC for sure.
Sometime ago somebody asked me to give it a try writing a story based on this song. Okay, it's not Dolly, it's not Withney, it's Lara's cover of Withney's version.
This is YiZhan or ZhanYi, I just wrote it a little differently. Let me know what you think.
Thank you to the awsome Pam @Calactortypist on twitter for helping me with the edition.
I hope you enjoy it !
The sound of the door closing behind him was almost imperceptible. It was like whispering farewell to what his life had been for the last three years. Sneaking away from the place that had been his home for the past two and a half years had never been his plan. In fact, if somebody had asked him a week ago, he would have sworn he would never leave, ever.
Leaving him behind, however, was the hardest thing he had ever done. It was a feat he had deemed impossible in the past. He felt like he was leaving reality, life as he conceived it and his heart all at once, but it was for the best.
Both of them had faced storm after storm. Scrutinizing media was always trying to put their relationship on display, some for commercial purposes, they still sold papers or magazines after three years, but some others showed a vicious intent to sow doubt, to denounce what they thought was just a convenient agreement for both of them regardless of their feelings, with no consideration on how their privacy was atrociously violated.
Then there were their fans, individual and mutual, that didn't understand the concept of boundaries or privacy or even basic human decency making their day-to-day an uphill battle.
They had always been able to leave all that...crap outside the very door he was closing right now. Always being strong enough to leave the actor/singer/star personna outside of their little universe, that sheltered world that belonged only to them where no outsider was allowed to enter.
Staying strong was their motto, never doubting each other, never letting anyone intervene in their lives.
***
It has been his lover's manager the one to corner him alone, explaining how a big contract was in the works for him, how it would catapult his lover to a worldwide stardom, how his face would be recognizable around the world and how his presence at his side, the love they shared was in the way.
"This is bullshit," was his first reaction.
"Maybe you're right, but it doesn't make it less true," the young woman, his lover's manager, had retorted.
"Have you talked to him?" He asked, thoroughly afraid of her answer. He knew his lover was strong willed and he would refuse to even talk about this opportunity if it would mean putting their relationship in jeopardy.
"Of course I have, but you know him, he won't listen," she explained to him, sounding exasperated.
"Yeah, I know, but..." he hesitated, hating himself for continuing listening to that woman.
"You, of all people, know what this contract could do for his career, for his future," she pleaded her case. He couldn't blame her, not really. It was her job to look out for his lover professionally, but still...
"What exactly do you want from me?" he muttered, surrendering to at least listen to her. It was a bad idea and he knew it, but it wouldn't be fair to him. His lover was so talented and hard working, he deserved this kind of opportunity and the mere thought of him not taking this chance to show the world how amazing he was, made him nauseous.
"You know what I'm asking from you..." she looked at him gravely. She knew he was an intelligent man, he would understand what was at stake.
"No!" was his immediate answer. His jerk knee reaction was to tell her to fuck off and leave him alone and to never mention it again.
"I thought you loved him!" she went for the kill, hitting below the belt mercilessly.
"I do...I can't...you can't ask that," he almost pleaded. She was right and he hated her for that. How he hated her at the moment.
"You know it's the only solution," she went on, knowing exactly how to coerce.
"Yes you can. If you want the best for him, you will," she pointed out.
"I...I'll think about it," he compromised, feeling like a traitor for even considering breaking their promise of forever.
***
It took him an agonizing week to make his decision. Opportunities like this one were rare and he had to give his beloved the freedom to grab that chance. A gay lover was the last thing that would help him explode outside China.
It meant he would not be able to say goodbye in person, he would never accept neither his decision nor his reasons. It also meant that there was no going back, he would never forgive him for walking out on him; their forever promises meant something and the love of his life was not of the forgiving kind.
He took a chance when his lover had to travel for another performance, he was getting more famous by the minute and it meant he was constantly busy. His lover made plans to come back the same day, but fortunately he was able to convince him to stay overnight to rest a bit.
All of it was part of his plan, his lover's manager had helped him move out his things and booking a flight to another city. He even had a new apartment waiting for him.
Although he was behaving cowardly, not saying goodbye to him in person, he left a note. He didn't even attempt to give an explanation because he had none except for his conviction that it was for his lover's good, although it was breaking his own heart.
He wished his beloved would find happiness, and maybe someday love, true love. As for him, he knew there would be no other for the rest of his life.
A simple I will always love you, was all he wrote before closing that door. His heart, however, didn't go with him; it stayed forever behind.
