Wings Of Honor: Heart of Ice

Final Note & Rant on Suicide

No. You guys are not getting a Halloween special. Wings of Honor: Heart of Ice is your Halloween present.
To heck with all of this. I got four tests tomorrow, so I'm gonna enjoy the peace before I charge right back into the storm. Don't expect many updates for the next week or so, until everything boils over.
Between college admissions being due this November, not October, and a few essays that still need to written before the 15th deadline, and the aforementioned tests being due right when I get back, I'm gonna say right now that the next couple weeks are going to be perilous at best.
I'll try my hardest not to burn myself out, and stay alive long enough to get you guys the next book up.

But in all honesty, this past week, also brought to my attention, very morbid fact:
Suicide attempts are on the rise, and that is not good.
In fact, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. More so, suicide is the second leading cause of death for people 10 to 24 years old, according to the Parent Resource Program. And as a student, even in at a private Catholic school, as well as public school students that I interact with often, suicide is a topic that everyone is well versed in, on both sides.
It has so permitted our culture that it is normalized. Especially online.
"You make me want to kill myself."
"Go kill yourself." (KYSing)
Are just a few examples of what I have heard.

To the people who seriously contemplated suicide, or have even made attempts, I would personally like to extend a virtual hug.
*hug*
Suicide is an permanent answer to a temporary problem, you may have heard that quote before. But I cannot stress enough that it is true.
Whether it be stress from school, work, relationships, politics, the environment, or even the actions of humanity in general; depression, temporary or chronic; or just facing a terrible situation, suicide cannot be an option. Here are a few arguments, should you need them.

Human life is such an amazing thing. Not just for religious reasons. In the animal kingdom, who else has made cities, cars, skyscrapers, launched satellites, or walked on another planet? Only people have. Why would we extinguish something that did all that?
As a Roman Catholic, including Christians, the 6th commandment says that "thou shall not kill." That includes taking your own life, that is killing yourself.
Muslims (followers of Islam) (not extremists) see taking your own life as taking the gift of life given to you by God.
Similar to Sikhs, who value all gifts given by God, and do not wish to alter or harm them.
Buddhism sees suicide as unnecessary, you're just going to reincarnate anyway, and it won't do anything but delay or even hinder the achievement of moksha.
Hindus are similar to Catholics, in that they see the act of suicide the same as murder, and equally damaging to your spirit.

But religious obligation is not the only argument against suicide. For the people who have gotten to know you, it will affect them too.
Your family and friends will have to bear the aftermath of your decision.
And to those who claim that their family doesn't care about them, I'm not just talking about blood relatives. I include your closest friends in that title. The ones who you don't mind inviting to dinner, sleeping over in your house, letting them borrow your own possessions. People who you'd trust.
Friends, not just friends from high school or college. I'm grouping acquaintances, people who you've interacted with. The janitor you always nod to at the end of the day, that one guy you always meet on the corner and exchange looks, the cashier of your favorite fast food place, the homeless man you handed a couple dollars to the other day.
It is impossible to say that "whatever I do to myself will only affect myself and not anybody else." Even if you are solitary and don't interact with others, don't go out to events and parties, only focus on your work, or even actively push other away, there are people who care for you. I care for you. When someone says "nobody like you." that's not true. There is always a nonzero number of people who truly care for you, at least one person."
If you do decide to give up, think of how all those people will react. How will you have impacted their life? How will they remember you? Think of how many people will attend your funeral, the stories they will inevitably tell of your sunny smile, your contagious laugh, and that one dumb story. We all have one. Think of how much they'll cry if you give up. How much they'll miss you, and everything about you. How long will they still call your name, expecting to see your face, only to see that you're gone. How much guilt will they have for not recognizing the signs, or that they might think they were your last chance to turn around. They might have been the last person to see you alive. They could have saved you. The guilt and stress you carry, it doesn't just go away. If you give up, it falls onto your friends and family.
Think of them, and how they'll miss you.

Also think about what you still haven't done. Your bucket list.
Travel the world.
Learn a new language?
Finally learn how to make a Frappuccino.
Learn how to make that exotic dish you love, the way you love it.
Get your dream job or hobby.
Go camping in the mountains.
Really go out and see the sunset. Or look out into the night sky and see the stars.
Just today, I went to the Salinas Air Show. I got to see P40s, walk inside a C-130, talk to its loadmaster, sit in the cockpit, sit in a 1944 Willys Jeep, and man its mounted 1919A4. Those were a couple things I've wanted to do my whole life. And when the opportunity presented itself, I just went "eh, why not. Let's do it."
Don't dwell on "if" questions. Turn them into "when" statements. If you're presented with two opportunities, go do the one you haven't done before.
But you won't get that opportunity when you're dead.

Think of your accomplishments.
What is the smallest, positive thing you've done?
Did you rescue a coworker by not shredding a paper?
Did you save a classmate by helping him with his homework?
Did you save a homeless man from going hungry, with your two dollars, just enough for a meal?
Did you make a janitor's day, by picking up a piece of trash they would have had to bend over to get?
Did you save someone else from suicide, just by exchanging a smile with them?
It's not always that you were the employee of the year awards, that you earned 1st honors in school, you were MVP for a year's football season, or that you are the most talented person in your occupation.
Think of the small things, that may have not changed the world, but changed the world for that one person.

Even though it may seem like right now all hell is raining down on you, and it feels like it's dragging on forever, it won't. Nothing lasts forever. It may last for a while, but not forever.
"Tough times don't last forever, but tough people do." A quote on a little wooden box I have hanging somewhere.
So be tough to preserve. You WILL get through this. Life has so much more, if only you stick with it. No matter how old you may get, or how late in life you are, you can still teach a dog new tricks. It may take more effort, but you can do it.
Anything is possible, if you just give it a chance.

It's going to be hard. I'm not saying changing won't be. Even I still have to buckle down sometimes and make some hard decisions to change for the better. But sometimes you have to embrace the suck.
Life is going to beat you up sometimes. But other times, it will give you the greatest once-in-a-lifetime opportunities and the greatest wonders you can't even dream of. That's the thing about life: it has its ups and downs.
And you're walking through a valley, in the shadow, and you can't even see your next step, have faith. It doesn't have to even be religious faith. Have faith that the Earth will not collapse under you. Have faith that the ocean will not dry up tomorrow. Have faith that when you ask for help, someone, somewhere, will be ready to help you in your time of need.
Look at all the resources you still have at your disposal. Take a good look at your situation. See all your options, write them down if you have to.
You may notice that your perceived problems might not even be as bad as you thought they were. Or that they might just require just a small change, a small shift in effort to get back on top.
But sometimes things won't be easy, and you won't have any choice but to dig your feet in to change. It may seem daunting, impossible, unfeasible, but it can be done. You just have to want it, to be convinced, dedicated. You can't change, unless you want to change. And if you really want to, you will. Where there's a want, there's a will. And where there's a will, there's a way. There is always a way. "Life finds a way."
Ask for help, get someone on your side. Call for backup. It's a lot easier to walk through hell with a friend by your side. Carry each-other. Support each-other. If you ask, you'll be surprised by how many good people are still out there.

TLDR:
Suicide cannot be your first option.
Think of your friends/family, how they'll react.
Think of what you will miss out if you give it all up.
Think of the things you do have, and even the smallest things you've done for others.
You can still change, even if it seems impossible.
If you need help, just ask. We're always happy to support you.

Sorry for the long rant.
The topic of suicide haunts me. I have felt their impact and carry the burden of so many memories myself. If what I say saves even just one life, I can say that I succeeded. I hope that nobody else gets to this point, or ever sees suicide as a reasonable option. Life is too precious to loose. No matter what. Things will get better, they always do. It's just we have to push through long enough to see it.
I hope that everyone here is having a fantastic day, and that it only gets better from here.
Stay safe, stay healthy,
Take care.
-FishyFish831