Shadow Alpha

Chapter 6 🌙

Night

The rest of the day full of classes passes uneventfully and the surprise party remains the major focus. And now it was time to leave. Angel is finishing straightening her blonde hair, while Amy chooses her shoes, and I sit on her bed, knees to my chest, as I stare at the mirror opposite.

"Come on. Jackie is going to be suss if you don't come, she'll think you don't like her," Amy and Angela are both frustrated at me but I had been so unsure all day about this party. I wanted to go, to be brave, but I also wanted to stay in my dorm, to be smart. But I still couldn't decide, and now I just felt stuck and I was only half-way ready.

I tied up my hair, put on a light amount of makeup... but I was still in blue jeans and a white top – while everyone else was in appropriate dresses for the summer weather.

I had so many options, the girls laid them out, but I refused to participate in the ritual of getting ready.

It's just that a dress would be harder to run away in. Or fight in.

Plus I loved my boots, which were thick and reliable and I could move fast if I had to. Plus they were quiet.

And I had also worn these clothes all day, but it's not like I cared...

"Can I just stay in your dorm, Amy, I kind of don't feel well –" I try to lie, but I'm a bad liar.

"Don't ever," Amy holds up her hand, "I don't care. Get ready. You're coming."

"Come on, Evelyn, it won't be the same without you. You're funny when you're drunk," Angel tries to convince me, throwing out a random compliment.

Hm. Drinking. I had decided if I did go, to go sober, but now it wasn't looking like such a bad option.

Amy's phone buzzes, and she perks up as she reads the message, "Oh my god, she's walking to the bar from her last class, we have to go now," Amy looks at me, waiting and glaring good-naturedly.

"Fine," I give into peer pressure, of all things, "I'll come behind you both. Just give me a few minutes."

"Okay, but we can't wait because I'm heading this whole thing up," Angel opens the door and runs out, while Amy follows.

When the door shuts, I look over the dresses but I decide against them. However, I do pick up a cold beer and finish that.

I had already contemplated every scenario. Run. Fight. Bargain. Avoid. Accept that I was perhaps even doomed. However – none of it answered my present situation. I was too concerned about the future. I had to stop thinking. I had to literally wing this reality with Ferir involved.

Just like how I escaped his bedroom. Fuck me – I can't believe I had almost become his slave for eternity. How close I had narrowly missed that turn in my fate. But here I was, free. And let's be real, he didn't say he wanted me to be a slave. He wanted me to be a Luna. That was a huge compliment.

But – I had aspirations my whole life to be an Alpha. Sure, Luna's were powerful too, but I wanted to lead on my own. I didn't want to be second. Let's call it an abandonment issue. I had some control problems. I was extremely independent for the very fact I had never had a family.

I go to drink a second beer, but I spy the expensive vodka in the back of the small fridge.

I reach into the back and dig it out. Just a shot. Or two. Or three?

I check my phone and I'm already running late. The surprise was happening at 7.30pm, and it was already 7.28pm.

2 mins. I drink the shots straight from the bottle, it burns up my throat and I'm pretty sure I had too much, but it was too late.