Under the lights tonight || Park Jimin

18

This morning was the worst. Drinking on a Sunday night is not something I should have done. I woke up more hungover than I had ever been. Maybe the turn of events from last night played a part. It was hard to see my little brothers who were trying to spend time with me, have to go on living without me. I haven't been able to get myself out of bed. I should be up and with my siblings but I couldn't bring myself to join them. Aunt Mae has tried talking to me but I haven't even had the energy to try, it was just Aunt Mae talking and me ignoring her every word.

There it is, the knock at my door again, "Ana get up," Aunt Mae's voice echos on the other side, "You need to get up. Kiya went to pick up Stella from her hotel since you wouldn't get up. They're going to be here in 10 minutes."
"Stella landed?" I raised an eyebrow, unaware that she was soon to be here. I felt bad that I wasn't the one to pick up Stella.
Aunt Mae rolls her eyes, "She called me since you were ignoring her, she made it off her flight and to her hotel safely don't worry."
I sit up and sigh, "I'm such a bad friend..." I huff.
"Oh Ana," Aunt Mae sighs, moving over to sit beside me on the bed, "You're just going through a hard time right now but-"

I cut her off, "Do you think I'm selfish? That I'm self-centered?"

Aunt Mae looks shocked, "What?"
"Jimin said I'm self-centered and I'm angry because he's wrong. He doesn't even know me," I sigh, "So am I self-centered?"
"Well Ana," She sighs, "Yes you are."
"What?"

"Ana I had to beg you to come to Korea for your own father's funeral." She looks shocked at my reaction.

"The man who sent me away and hated me?" I scoff.
"He didn't hate you!" She snaps, "Besides you have two loving brothers who need their older sister and you didn't even want to see them!" She raises her voice a little, standing up from beside me.
I sit in silence for a minute thinking of what to say, "Well..." I pause, "I came didn't I?"
She cocks an eyebrow up, "And you think those boys can't tell you would rather be as far away from them as possible? Who do you think you're fooling?"
"I-"
She cuts me off, "Get dressed I just heard the car pull up." She swiftly exits my room, ignoring my protests. I am not a selfish person. A selfish person wouldn't have gone to the stupid concert with my best friend. A selfish person wouldn't have flown across the world for a funeral and boys she knows nothing about. It was a ridiculous lie. I get up from the bed and kick the dress which was still on the floor to the side and over to my suitcase. I retrieve my light grey sweatsuit, slipping it on with ease. I undo my messy bun, only to redo it. My makeup was practically worn off so I didn't bother removing the tiny remains. I head downstairs and to the living room where Stella was talking to Kiya and Aunt Mae. I lingered around the corner, nervous that seeing Aunt Mae would ruing the good atmosphere they have going.

"Yeah the trip was long but it was worth it," Stella sounds happy, "I'm really glad I'm going to be here with you guys during all of this." Her voice softens, her Korean was improving a lot from when I last practiced with her, her vocabulary seemed to be growing a lot more. She must be practicing at home more.

"It will be nice to have some extra support." Aunt Mae's voice is so genuine which is when I enter the room silently.

"Ana!" Stella whips around and wraps me in her arms.

"Hi, Stella." I hug her and pull away, "I didn't know you had landed. Aren't you tired?"

"I've been at the hotel, sleeping for a while." She shrugs.

"That's good." I nod.

Aunt Mae waits no longer to ask the question that was bothering her, "So what hotel are you staying at?"

"You'll never guess!" Kiya pipes up for the first time.
"What hotel?" Aunt Mae and I both look between Kiya and Stella.
"It's called uh..." Stella pauses, searching her brain for the word, "Singniel, I think?" She questions.
Aunt Mae and I's jaws drop, "Stella!" I shout.

"What?" She shrugs.

"That hotel is like 370,000 won a night!" Kiya interjects.

Stella looks confused, "What?"

"Stella that's literally like $350 a night!" I clarify.

Her jaw drops, "What?"

"How are you affording this?" Aunt Mae asks.
"Don't worry about it." Stella laughs it off.
"Stella!" I shout again.

"It's not illegal don't worry," She reassures, "It's fine."

"Stella it is not fine!" I argue with her more, Aunt Mae and Kiya growing concerned.

"Well," Stella giggles, "Let's just say, I'm not staying alone."

Before I can say anything, Aunt Mae speaks, "Good for you Stella," She pauses, changing subjects, "We've got to pick up San and Yeonjun soon. Do you and Stella want to go Ana?"

"No, I-"

I'm cut off again by Stella, "That would be fun! We should go pick them up. Where are they?"

"Well Yeonjun is at tutoring and San is at baseball. Kiya and I are going to meet the funeral director tonight since none of you had an interest in that. You'll need to feed the boys and get them in bed for school tomorrow." Aunt Mae orders.

"Alright." I sigh, "We'll take a cab and get some food downtown."

"No fast food." Aunt Mae reminds, walking away into another room with Kiya.

"Okay, okay." I wave her off.

*****

"Seoul is really pretty," Stella hums quietly as we walk down the street, nearing Yeonjun's school, "How are you feeling about being here?"

I cross my arms a bit tighter, "I wish I wasn't here."

"Why?"

"I don't want to mourn the loss of a man who hates me." I huff.

"You know you don't have to throw yourself a constant pity party right?" Stella says as we round the corner, the school insight.

"God," I groan, "You sound just like Jimin..." The words slip out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

"Like Jimin?" She exclaims, smacking my arm, "I thought you weren't talking to him!"
"I wasn't," I shrug, wanting to ignore this conversation, "Well we ran into each other at a restaurant then got drinks the next night. Nothing serious."

"What? You got drinks with him!"

"Well we went to some fancy hotel bar and he bought some expensive wine then proceeded to berate me." I roll my eyes.

"What?"

We stop in front of the gate of Yeonjun's school, "Jimin is a jerk, end of the story. Now stop talking about it because Yeonjun should be coming out at some point."

We both turn to look at the school building, there comes Yeonjun, toddling out with his big backpack in tow, "Ana! Ana! Ana!"

"Hi, Yeonjun!" I crouched down to his eye level, my fake smile greeting him.

"I didn't know you were gonna pick me up!" He throws himself into my arms.

"Yeah, I'm feeling better."

He pulls away and looks at Stella, "Who are you?"

"I'm Stella, I'm Ana's best friend."

"Cool!" Yeonjun throws himself into her arms and Stella laughs, hugging him back.

"Come on let's get going," I pause, "We have to go get San before dinner."

"Where are we going for dinner?" Yeonjun takes my hand and reaches another for Stella's. Stella seems surprised but lets him hold her hand anyway.

"When we pick up San, you two can decide." I hum and head around the corner from the school to San's school to see the baseball field.