Where angels meet

I want to dedicate this book to my friends, for supporting me.

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Chapter 1

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I'm in a dream, I'm dreaming. Dreaming of a a new day. Dreaming of a day where there is complete silence, a day where there are no clouds in the sky. A day where there are no doubts, no fears nor sorrow. In my dream everything seems white, as white as snow. It's a dream that is almost empty, it's a dream with no end. This dream fades, it fades and turns to black. The white snow has melted and has left behind darkness. It's a spring with no return... And I seem trapped in this spring .... a spring with no tomorrow. The dream turns to a wish, a silent wish with no remedy. Will this dream ever end? I wonder when it was that this dream... When it was that this dream became eternal.

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Snow... It reminds me of painful days, the painful days that are now a forgotten past...

One by one the flakes descend unsure of their way down, they descend unaware of the world beneath them; yet they fall to the cold ground that awaits for them with open arms. The flakes fall slowly, calling out to the world, hoping someone will hear their call and catch them; but no one hears it. I watch as the flakes land next to the window, they land next to the window and form a small pile of snow. I observe the pile grow bigger as the flakes land one on top of the other, they accumulate until the pile grows into a bundle. Once blended to form a pile, they are no longer flakes, the flakes have vanished but are now united in form. I count the individual flakes that fall from the sky in my head, they are each unique and different, none of the flakes are alike and they all have a distinct chime. The snow is like a messenger of winter, every year without delay it announces the arrival of winter... It announces the arrival of a cold and lonely winter.

I have never been excited of the arrival of winter. Nothing about winter amuses me. To me winter is just a cold damp season which brings sadness to my heart. Winter reminds me of nothing but painful memories which I tried so hard to bury away deep inside, but no matter how hard a try winter always seems to bring them back to surface. When I think about it, winter is almost like a ghost. Every year winter returns, it returns to haunt me it seems to never be satisfied; it always comes back for more. Usually at this time of the year I hide myself from the world, I hibernate in my fantasies as I anticipate the spring to come and melt the winter away... but that fantasy won't occur anytime soon, as winter is just beginning.

I laid my elbow on the side of the cold glass window. I supported my head with my hand, and stared outside. The sight of the glistering frosty town made me feel nostalgic. The nostalgia ran through my body like blood, making me shiver. My mind recalled the times I used to roam the town alongside my mother. We would take long strolls around the town together, just the two of us. We would leave trails of footprints on the snow, and make snow angels. Those were the precious memories I treasured so much; the small instants where it was just us and no one else but us. The moments were we laughed together, smiled together, and lived together. Those times I held dear are not more than distant incidents that occurred in the past, yet they are the reason for my today.

The town seemed to vanish behind us, as the bus speeded its way from stop to stop. The bus came to a halt at yet another stop, this was my stop. I got of the bus, and watched as it left off into the streets again. I checked my watch for the time; I it was still early. I strolled the town. I walked past shops that I used to visit when I was little, most the shops had changed from originally where. The stop at the corner next to the street light used to be my favorite pastry shop, they had the best strawberry shortcakes I had ever tried; yet they were the only ones I had ever tried. The pastry shop was was the only shop that had remained the same, the store was a tad different and they remodeled the exterior, but it was still the same pastry shop I recalled. I looked inside the shop form the window, it was empty. I'll surely comeback to try the strawberry shortcakes.

I walked through a unpretentious park. It was almost empty and deserted, just a swing and a slide laid beside an old oak tree. The air smelled of sweet pine, the kind that is used as a Christmas tree. The smell reminded me of the happy winters I spent with my mother, the happy winters that I would always await; yet now I wish they would go away. The pine smell tagged along and rested on my shoulder as I walked on my way to school. I felt numb on the inside- as if the emotions had vanished form my interior and disappeared to somewhere unknown. I didn't know what to think of, I felt empty and lifeless- I was like a ghost. This was the emptiness I had always felt ever since then... It was a lonely emptiness, an emptiness that screams to your heart and wishes to be filled, but filled with what?

That was a question I have yet to find the answer too. I continued my road along a sidewalk beside an empty street. This town had been so forgotten, it's been years since these streets were crowded, before it was always busy, and now all you can hear are the faint echoes of my footsteps. How long has it been? When was it that this town began to feel so empty? I can't recall the last time I was here, but I know that this town used to be abundant glass of water.

I had finally reached the school. I sat on a bench beside the alpine fountain. I closed my eyes as I inhaled softly, I was tired from dragging my feet through the snow. The morning felt cold, my eyes teared as the cold air washed face. I tightened the scarf around my neck hoping I would feel warmer. The bench seat felt like a block of ice beneath me, I was numb from my waist down.

"Tiss the season" I murmured to myself. My breath turned to a cloud of fog and drifted away till it disappeared.

A crowd of students cheerful passed by me. Their faces expressed joy, their bright smiles filled the atmosphere with warmth. I observed as they spoke among themselves, they laughed so carelessly; it made me want to join them. They playfully pushed each other and held arms as they walked up the stairs.

I was curious, I wondered how it felt to be in such a crowd. I wondered how it felt to smile that warmly. Is it a pleasant feeling? How does it feel to be cared for? What is it like to not be alone? I'm awed by such simple questions.

Truth is I've always been alone. I've never had much friends, I never bothered to talk to anyone - and no one bothered to talk to me. I was ok though, I was fine with being alone because only then was I able to think clearly. I don't mind not having anyone to share with, I don't mind it at all. Loneliness is my companion, it's always there when I need it and never lets me down. I enjoy walking the streets alone, I enjoy indulging in my thoughts and thinking only to myself. I don't really need anyone.

Its ok right? It's ok to be alone. I've been alone till now, so it's alright.

I walked myself up the stairs and to my classroom. I was the first one there- as always. I sat in the last column next to the window; it was my favorite seat. I never paid attention in class, I always started at the outside in thought. I enjoyed staring out the window on spring days, the warm sun shone on my face, flowers sprung everywhere and it was never quiet. I wished it'd be spring forever, I wished the snow would just melt away and make way for the lilies to bloom.

The morning bell rung and the vibration tickled my ears. Soon the class was invaded by students who hoped they had made it on time. None of them seemed to notice I was there. They etched walked in and filled the room with uproar, the all spoke at the same time, it was hard to understand what any of them was saying.

I rested my back on the chair and gazed at the outside scenery. Everything was covered in snow. I was glad to be inside where it was warm, I could imagine the unbearable temperature outside; it sent chills down my spine.

For once I was glad to be in school, and not out alone.