Chained Love (El Señorita Series #2)

Chapter 40

Larissa's POV

My head aches and all of my body too. I close my eyes again and open it. Tila nag aadjust pa ang mata ko sa liwanag ng araw. Pamilyar sa akin ang lugar at lahat ng naroroon. Even the smell is so familiar. Marahan akong tumayo habang nakatingin sa labas. Nasa mansion ako. Sa bahay ng tatay ko. Sa bahay ng totoo kong ama. The door open and I saw my son running. 

Hindi ko alam kung bakit naluha ako ng makita siya. Masaya itong tumatakbo patungo sa akin. Malaki ang ngiti lalo na ng mayakap niya ako.

"Good morning smile girl. Let's eat breakfast. Ano ba gusto mo?" Tanong ng isang tinig mula rin sa pinto. Umiling ako sa kaniya bago yumakap sa anak ko.

"I thought you'll sleep again mom" my child told me.

"Natulog ba ng matagal si mama before? Sana ginising mo si mama Acy" I told my son and pinch his nose. Ngumiti naman ito sa akin habang umiiling pa.

"I won't wake up mama. You are tired. Kaya hindi ka gising Acy. But Acy hug you mama"

"How sweet my son is. Ano bang gusto mong gift galing kay mam?"

"Kiss" he said out loud I chuckled and nod.

"Where should I kiss my prince huh?" I asked before laughing again.

"Papa" he said out loud again.

Natigilan ako sa mungkahi niyang iyon. Agad naman akong tumingin sa kaniya habang marahang umiling dito. Kahit na pinangako kong makipag agawan sa iba para sa tatay niya ay hindi ko pala kaya. Kasi may mga bagay na mahirap gawin. May mga sugat na nagiging sariwa habang mas lalong ginagamot. May mga gripong kahit isara mo ng libong beses ay aagos pa rin. It wasn't easy. It was not easy at all. Madaling sabihin mahirap gawin.

He cleared his throat while looking at me.

"Kiss daw sabi ng anak mo" he said while smiling. I saw my son giggle before going down out of my bed and going out of my room.

"So bakit ka nandito?" Tanong ko sa kaniya. Sinara muna niya ang pinto bago nag tungo sa kama ko. He was just smiling at me.

"I want to start again with you. Why don't we try going abroad. May bahay na akong nakuha doon. Aasikasuhin na ni Ville. We just need to fly and be there. What do you think?"

"No need. I have plan with my son. I don't want to be burden. We can live without you. I can breath for my self. You are not my oxygen. I'm sure my son will agree with me. Ako ang nakasama niya ng matagal kaya mas alam kong sa akin siya sasama. You can have Manilene. Just sign the annulment paper. I'll get you one again later. Ipapadala ko na lang kay Phantom" saad ko bago tumayo. Inayos ko ang buhok ko at nag suklay. Huminga naman siya ng malalim bago lumapit sa akin.

"Sorry. I'm really sorry. Hindi ko naman alam na ganun ang mangyayari. Please Larissa. One more chance. One more chance please" he wispher. Umiling ako bago siya hinarap.

I gave him a slight kiss before walking away.

"I love you. I miss you. I need you. Kahit na maging utusan mo gagawin mo just accept me. I don't know why did I always pushing my self to the person that can't love me back. Na pwede naman ikaw. Now I know why I keep choosing to chase my first love. Because I thought love was always the chase. Na para makuha mo yung pag mamahal na yun habulin mo yung taong alam mong kayang ibigay yun. But now I know that it wasn't. Larissa I try hard not to fall. The last time you saw me with Manilene was my good-bye. Dahil ng araw na yun desidido na akong ikaw talaga. Alam ko ng ikaw yung kalahati ko. Hindi mo man lamang ako hinayaang mag paliwanag sayo" he said while crying hard.

Kahit na lumuluha ay nagawa ko pa siyang bigyan ng isang hilaw na tawa.

"I don't need you anymore. My son is enough for me" saad ko rito bago nag tungo sa pinto upang lumabas sana ng naramdaman ko ang mga bisig niya.

"Promise I'll be a good husband. I'm sorry. I need you Larissa. I need you so much. I'm sorry for becoming an idiot. I'm sorry for not fighting for you. I'm sorry for everything"

"But I'm tired Raiko. Pagod na ako sa lahat. Ayoko na"

"Then let me chase you. Ako naman ngayon. Just let me fux this. Promise. Promise I'll be good. More than good" he plead. Pilit kong inalis ang kaniyang bisig ngunit mas lalo lamang iyong humigpit.

"Ayoko na" iyon lamang ang ko sa kaniya bago huminga ng malalim.

"No. I won't gave you up. It will work. I'll work this out. Sa gusto mo o hindi sasama ka sa akin. Asawa mo ako. Ako ang masusunod"

"Pero ayoko na nga. Mahirap bang intindihin yun?" I shouted as I finally get out of his arms.

Ilang beses ko na ring nasabunutan ang aking buhok habang nakatingin sa kaniya.

"Lahat! Lahat mahirap intindihin. Before the accident. I know you love me. Anong nangyari. Nakalimutan mo ba na mahal mo ko? Larissa I'm fucking in love with you. Why don't you at least try to be with me away for us to work this out" he shouted back at me.

I laugh at him bago nag punas ng luha at tumingin sa kaniya.

"Before the accident I told my self to work our marriage out but after that I realize it wasn't easy. Hindi madaling mahalin ka. Hindi madaling makasama ka. Ayoko na. You're making my life messy" I shouted back at him. Pouring all of my pain. Punching him.

Pero lahat iyon ay tinaggap niya. Lahat iyon ay inako niya. I want him to push me away. To shout. To say that he likes Manilene more but why he wasn't. I hope he'll do that for me to push him easily. Is it what my mom felt after seeing my biological father marrying Imelda? Or it is more painful than what I am feeling right now.

"Go on. Push me away. I don't care. I'll chase you this time. It my time to chase you my smile girl. Hindi man ako perpektong asawa but I'll do my best to be one. Just one last chance and we'll work this out. If it wasn't then I'll sign your annulment paper" mahinahong niyang ani sa akin bago niya ako niyakap ng mahigpit. He even kiss my forehead and hush me.

"I love you. Well work this out okay. I will work out for this marriage okay. I love you Larissa. I will love you more" he whisper to me before kissing me like a feather.

I just close my eyes while feeling his kiss. Is this what love is? Is this how they feel when falling in love? I am ready to freed the love I chained. Or I already did it for the long time ago.

"Please freed me love. Freed that hatred. Freed that loneliness. Freed that love you have for others and forgave them. Larissa. You are my Larissa. I'm giving my all just please love me again. Love me again and again. It was my air. Please let me breath" he said while crying.

Mas lalong bumuhos ang mga luha ko habang nakatingin sa kaniya.

I already freed all of my bad past and ready to have an new start. This is my new start.