Hidden Past

The Hidden Past

        I'm a normal person everyone consider as perfect. Always smiling, cheerful, kind, helping, caring, polite, ect. I, however, don't think that. I'm not actually happy. I happen to have a horrible past...well, not exactly really bad. Just something that strikes right in the heart. It hurts.  It hurts a lot... I hate to admit it but...I use to love this girl a lot when I was 14 and I still do. She's was everything I've ever wanted. Someone I adored like a queen. She was a very polite girl, always caring...always willing to help. She's perfect. As much as I hate to say this, she's gone. She's gone...for the rest of my life. She left me alone. She was someone who helped me up, someone who changed me, someone who change me for the better, some who build me into whole. 

         It all started on the first day of highschool. I was a freshman. I guess you could say I was like a delinquent. Always causing trouble for people, swearing, fighting, all that stuff.Well...maybe I was like that because of stress and problems at home. One day, someone tried to pick a fight with me in the school hallway. We almost got into a fist fight but a girl came, drag me by the arms, and took me to my next class. I don't think I remembered seeing her around here before, I thought to myself. When the period ends, I went up to her and thanked her for stopping me because if she hadn't stopped me then, I probably would've gotten suspended. I introduced myself to her but all she did was smile at me and walked away. That...was my first love. Form then on, I always try to talk to her. I always get distracted by her, My eyes always seem to be on her whenever she's around. I have to say, I was a pretty popular guy back in my high school days. I always seem to get asked out by girls. But I rejected them. Why? Because I knew, I knew I already have my heart set on someone. Then, April came rolling around. I've pretty much done research about her. Turns out her grades are genuinely high and she's an honor student. She's also very popular with the boys because she's so pretty yet as quiet as a mouse. Wanting to be in more classes with her, I studied harder, trying to get higher grades. Finally, June came rolling around. School's over, vacation started. I missed her.

       In my second year of high school, I got more classes with her. I was deeply happy. Staring at her everyday was my normal routine. Finally, before winter break, I decided I would confess my love to her. The day before winter break, I confessed to her and to my surprise, she smiled again, not saying a word. I asked her if she would be my girlfriend and she just smiled and nodded. That...was the happiest day of my life. After winter break was over, rumor spreaded quickly. Everyone said we were the perfect couple. I was very happy becaus the girl I've loved for so long can finally be considered as mine. She started talking to me after the break. We had a great time together. Builded so many wonderful memories together, everything was perfect. Little did I know...these sweet times won't last forever. One morning in May, she got hit by a truck. She was injured severely. I got a phone call from her parents about the accident and I ran to the hospital. Not wanting to waste a single second I ran to her parents and asked them what happened. We waited... The doctor finally came out and said, she won't be able to survive and that she will die soon. My heart...it was scattered. I felt numb. Everything seemed blue to me. I ran to her and cried. I love her. Right there, I gave her the first kiss me and her had. Our first and last kiss... She died a few seconds later. My world..was scattered. My dreams and hopes were ruined. I went back home numb, not feeling anything that day. In my mailbox, I saw a letter for me. It was from her... It seems like she knew she would die that day. She knew... She didn't tell me how, but she knew. In the letter, she wrote " Please keep up the good work. I love seeing you smile. I love seeing you laugh. I love everything about you. I want you to be happy even after I'm gone from this world. I want you to stay optimist. Help people, be kind, care for others, be the boyfriend I know. Haha, don't you dare change either. We will meet again in our next lives. Until then, please stay how you are. I love you and I always will." 

        And that was the story of me. My hidden past. I don't like people talking about it because when I hear them say her name, I want to cry. I yearn to hug her, to hold her, to kiss her. I yearn for her and to this very day, I still do. I still love her. I miss her. I will always live in my past...the times I've had spent with her. She is the person who found me and brought light to me. I will never forget her. I don't think I'll ever be able to love anyone as much as I love her. I miss her and I love her.